ts_o_b

I'm 21!!!...

2010-06-04T19:05:00.006+08:00

Hey all,

its been a while since my last post.. gosh more than a month! haha

kk, better update!

so, i am finally 21! haha my first post as an adult.. manz! i really never wanted this to happen! i still want to be a kid!!!

so i had a few parties for my 21st! haha...

So i had my Birthday at home .. a mass one.. family, friends and all... =]

i guess more than words can say, it was great.. i had a reall nice big cake.. performance segment too!!
=] and pictures say a thousand words.. most of the pics are on my FB so take a look.. here is just some..

Yeap.. and the week after, my good pals brought me out for dinner and a club party too! haha...

So, been really busy in camp! prep for the concert which just passed.. my last concert with central band b4 i ORD.. lolz...

yeap.. more soon!!!

clarification!!..

2010-04-25T16:59:00.002+08:00

Hey all

its amazing how the blog works... somewhere u can share life, events and advertise and also vent everything out. but u cannot say everything, coz sometimes info gets mis-interpreted and ends up in the knowledge of ppl you dont want to let known to. Much worse when it gets into the hands of your parent. What is the point? really its useless, coz they will never understand what their child goes through. there is so many things beyond what a parent sees, and its so much easier to comment and advice what to do and not to do...

If it were that easy, dont u think every child would have gone back to their parents for solace? well, i guess its not then. I say things on my blog so i can express myself. its my only avenue to let everything out. and no i am not going crazy even if u see my posts are eccentric at times.. I am much stronger a person than u think i am. i've survived all these emotions and events so far.. If not i'd probably have given up on life totally...

I think it is really unfair to judge someone assuming based on what u read or see, much more if u are not close to him and dont know him as a person.

I am writing this now because i hear false intepretation about me from people around. Do not assume how i feel. if u are concerned, ask me.. i am probably the only person who knows where which emotion is linked to.

thats just i want to clarify. Yes i am going through a really low and rough patch now. i dont deny it. from home, to work, my future, to my social life, my personal life as well. its a lot to handle especially when suddenly everything just took a turn against the wind. But that does not make me any less a person yea. i am still human and i live like the same Jon i usaully am, just a bit more stress in my head.

I really do appreciate those who have been with me through this. talked to me and just encouraged me. thank u all

Well, its less than a week to my bday party... all the prep is kinda done... yes i'm holding it at home... i do want this party, not to my expectation, but yea, its my 21st, how can i not have a party yea? only issue to it is, not many ppl are coming for the party... lol.. i've done enough chasing for attendance. so lets see how it goes...

well, hope it turns out ok yea.. will update after sat yeap!?

Ok, and my ORD fuction is tml! i have 3 more months in the army! wohoo!!

First Quart of the yr...

2010-04-03T09:03:00.016+08:00

Hey all.

officially i have not blogged for abt 2mths plus..

just too lazy to write anything.. strage isnt it when there is more going on now and i dont feel like writing..

So much has happened in the last few months.. so much... i dont know should i even keep this post happy or if i should start my rambling once again...

so where i left off since Jan..

well, had fun at Jame's 21st, the big day finally came for him. the long awaited party, planning went off quite well.. i hope u like the card Esther and i gave u!!

Victor, Me, James, Esther, Mark

Come came Feb, i can hardly remember what happened during then though. but i do remember the guys(me,benji,trev,benny,robin,jayden,leon) and i went out to see the fire works at Hong Bao river...then after that we went to watch movie.. Percy JacksoN!

Benji,Me,Leon,Jayden

Oh yes yes!! My Unit's DnD was at the end of Feb too.. the performance finally revealed.. haha... We did well and it was quite a good DnD up at the White house in Camp! My Band's theme was Jazz. but we kinda spiced it up after a while and it went to an Indian theme! haha

Ginny was gorgeous!

March March! it was birthday month! oh manz! so many birthdays!

Week 1- Esther Goh Mei Fang!!! finally 21!!!
Me,james,Esther,terence

Week 2- Jayden Ng... getting older =] 25 haha
XinKai,Henry,Jayden,Leon,Jason,Eric,Me,Benny,Robin

Week 3- Robin Tan... 22

Week 3-Ng Man Ning... 21

and of Coz my sis's kim's birthday with no pictures.. 20 this yr..

End of March, i guest played for MusArt Wind Orchestra at Yong Siew Toh Hall.. Was quite ok i guess.. but strangely like no feeling for the performance lo...
but it went well i guess...

My sec 1 juniors..er..wait..they are sec 2 le.. haha

My junior leaders

Juniors

Haha.. wah.. me wor.. i look quite ugly playing eh!

manNing and I

Well.. just after the concert on Sunday, i went back to camp straight away.. and this whole week i was slothering under the sun.. i got so so so so so so burnt that it hurt like mad!! i couldnt even wash my face! it was CDF COC...finally its over, damn tired and just looked damn Black now...

Oh yes! i went out with esther and bought a BABY SYLSVESTER!!! omg.. cheap thrill!! my Fav! so Cute!!!

Mohawk!

So cute right! lol

alrigts, so this is the other side of the story...

!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@#$%^&*(@!@#$%^&^%$!@#$*(@#$%($@#$*(@#$%^&*(&$#@#$%^&*()*&^%$#%^&*()%$$UG$$%^&*()&$#$$&*()#$@#%^&*()&%#$@#%^&*()*&^%$#!##^&^(()@*$(@^@*#)@&(&!)^$*%$&%(&#(!*@*!()^$*@%$&(#&#()*!*#)(&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg! i am so FUSTRATED!!!!!!!
Just when i thought begining of the year, things were going to go well, and it did seem like things were moving pretty ok... its gone froma slight up slop to a sudden plunge off a cliff! omg!!

i have been going for many cases for my parent's divorce and its so stressful when u see that all they think of is fighting for more and emotion eruption! mainly anger...
Mum is always thinking beyond everything and always assuming till she gets distracted and she gets herself disappointed when she realises it will never happen that way.and ever so demanding to what she already wants, she doesnt even want to consider any other options, and even listen to alternative.. she has already made her mind and plans of what to do.... My father is erupting as usual, and really, he doesnt think before he reacts... even when he reacts rashly, he just explodes and is just not rational... ever since young till now, i swear i will never want to be like this ever...never in my life...

Ur character shows how scared u are as a person. either becoz u are too demanding and are afraid of being over thrown by someone more superior or just plain ego. and u result in violence or just making a big scene over small instances... I swear i never want to be like u ppl,... now in this way... That y i'd rather just keep my mouth shut and usually give in to ppl. i hate it when i have to fight for something which can close an eye to... really...and also i end up keeping my feelings to myself coz what is the point of venting out ur angry on others when it will not make things better, u onli pass on the fustration to others and obviosly ruin something with ppl..

My personal life is really like a mess... i really dont know what to really think, say or even do anymore... my self will power on many things seems like a valve low on the spare battery already. lately i've stop trying to search for ppl to be with.. Many of u know i have been yearning for a companion for quite a while... many have adviced me, some always asking if this is the right time, some say just wait..
i really dont know what to take of it anymore.. maybe i am starting to be even more insecure... i dont want to go to the extent of being desperate, but really is it so difficult to even find someone who would like me!? waited all the ever so long time and got my heart really hurt again last yr when i realised i was not the one and i just felt so played with after that month of 'romance'... i really hate being lonely and i appreciate my friends who try to keep me company at times, but sometimes it still doesnt fill that total void.. besides, most of my friends are also attached! how am i suppose to swallow that whole? Besides, friends have a limitation to what they can do as well, there is nothing emotionally mutual... More and more i ponder of this, i feel like i will never find anyone.. and i must start to accept the fate of my reality...this really sucks...

finally... My Birthday is abt a mth away. Based on my last post and my earlier plans, seems like things are not going to happen the way i want it, nor will it be a big elaborated alterntive.. My idea of a big function got reduced to finding a restaurant or a bar, i was ok with that idea, then, it got reduced to just getting a cheap chalet which i dnt want to do again.. then it was changed to using my home's club house(its very sian), and then to just a bbq... now the final change of plan is to hold it at home...not onli the change of venues, but the size of my guest list got reduced almost 50%. And all this was never never never my decision to change idea and i started onli from the top. but i tried and reconsidered and accepted it. I always dreamt of a really elaborated or at least a bigger 21st.. i wanted it to be really special. But it seems like i'll be stuck at home for the party. I really give up manz.. at this point i just feel like ending this reduction to not having any party anymore.. i dont want to be upset and unhappy on my birthday, i'd rather just not have it,to save my energy on something i dont want.

Its onli april, what a year to to begin with.. really and what a time to turn 21...thank u for making this such a memoriable yr so far =[

FUCK YOU KIM!

2010-03-01T23:29:00.001+08:00

FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM! FUCK YOU KIM!

Doing better...

2010-01-17T16:02:00.004+08:00

Hey all

i'm back.. from what i am not too sure. haha

well.. how has things been with everyone?

things have been quite cordial lately.. not too bad bah..

Actually its been going quite alright for me personally.. i've been trying real hard to let go of many things, and it seems like things are runninga lot better.. quite good..

I'm now planning on my future plans for school, work and love(bleahs..) kidding.. haha

it will take time bah. but i am doing ok for now =]...

I'll be 21 in 4 months or so, kinda planning something big for myself this year.. i really want to have lots of fun this time round... looking at birthday venues now... its gonna be a blast yea!!

Me and my 'pretty' pink bow.. haha.. huiting's pink bday. made to wear it as a wrist band, but got this idea insead...

Happy New Year...

2010-01-03T21:17:00.007+08:00

Hey all

HAPPY NEW YEAR...

wonder how everyone's new year and countdown has been?

I'll update what has been happening since my last post before i get to the new year...

Well quite a few things have been happening..Aiyo my life like so drama.. right benny? so drama! haha..

Well especially at home, dad is back in hospital also..

k, so i had my christmas party.. it was really nice to have everyone around...

(terence,Me,Benny,Esther,Trevel,james,Mark)

I have not gotten all the other pictures of the rest yet.. so will do that soon yea..

So i guest played with Philharmonic Youth Winds on the 23rd as well... it was a kinda stressful concert..

Jayden came to support me, thanks man!

During reherasal

My bassoon section(eunice, me, zi sheng)

Trevel had his bday party and an outing...

Christmas has never been so distant this year.. really did not feel like it came...and soon it was time to prepare for the new year...

i gave myself a treat and finally got an ear piercing the day after christmas... =]

new year's eve came... had dinner with trevel, benny, eddy and hakim in town... went up to the firestation tower to slack after that.. was really cool there manz..

everyone had to go coz some were leaving town the next morning..
Unfortunately my other friends had change of plans and midnight was on my own this year..
I dont blame anyone k...its coz of circumstances thats y...

I walked to the padang coz everywhere else was too crowded to enter... the fireworks were great, really made my day too...But the night was ever the most depressing too... somehow i kinda knew my countdown would be alone...

New years day was nth much..dinner at my grand aunt's house...

Last night i just had to breathe, and i just had to let all emotions out.. decided to go party...

Finally had my dance with Xvan too... haha...it was really fun, and i am glad i went out too... thanks guys!!!

Well 2010 is here.. up to now i dont know what i intend to do this year.. i tried thinking hard what i want to plan for.. but i just cant put a fixed thought yet...

Many of u guys have been quite concerned for me too...I feel like i am alright la. though strangely and scarily i seem eccentric at time.. i think i am freaked out too..I think maybe coz i am just overwhelmed with so many things and i just dun know how to control my emotions...And based on my previous post, i guess most of u know what i am going through...

I really hope this year would be a time where i can but my weights down from my shoulders too...2009 was a year pretty heavy for me... But honestly, i do need the support from my friends this year too... i will be there for u guys as much as i can too... but i do hope that as i run my turbulance, my buddies will still be around when i need someone to lean on...

what the year has in store is beyond what i can control. but i do hope to resolve many of my issues, hopefully find the special one and to just be happy with everything around me...

Have a good 2010 guys!

Marking the end of 2009...

2009-12-14T23:54:00.006+08:00

Hey all
its been over a mnth since i blogged.. its going to be my resolution post..its gonna be long k..

Before i start, whatever has happened written here its not meant to offend but just my thoughts on the year. If u know its u i spoke abt, i dont hold any grudges against u, and what has happened is part of my memory. Many things i say are my personal choice and i do hope that my friends here will still accept me for who i am no matter what i choose to put up of myself.

Time and Time again I come to the point where i see myself in the dead end of things. I wonder how many can just take life so simply and still not worry of what lies ahead, still they manage to live comfortably.

The year of challenges was more directing upon my own weaknesses and ability to sustain a season. Many have passed on; with barely an inch of failing. Some still in progress; i've pushed aside hoping it will disappear, and the few i am still fighting in my silence.

I stepped into the year with 1 aim, to go all out in what i wanted to do with no regrets. I never endorsed a resolution cause i know i would once again fail myself.
I've learnt many things, seen quite a bit, experienced and even cast aside the ups and downs of what life can do to you. All within the year.

Home never seem so invisible to me before. But now i know how some people feel. The feeling of just getting out and not wanting to come back. The dynaics of my household has changed tremedously. The once idea of my condo apartment to be the oasis of tired pleople sometimes feel like a battlefield or even a courtroom.

My relationship with my sis has always been cordial. And many times, i think i'd prefer it that way. I wonder how people can respond to things without considering what may happen. Nevertheless just put some thought into things. Thats my sis, hush in action and a mere angle in need. Since young i've always found myself in the losing and giving end with her. My perception of letting things go has come to an end. I forbid her emotions to affect me anymore.

Dad seem kike the biggest burden this year. His stroke in aug and then in oct seem like a restless period. No rest for me since may coz of long hours for SAFday and NDP rehearsals). The demand to be at the hospital everyday was tiring and draining. I've lost my father in it all. The lack of commitmentt to look up to him has faded away despite his disabilities. If i had the choice, i'd leave it all totally. It seems selfish but i even wonder if i need to rely on the father figure anymore. THe sad part of it all is the chance to start afresh never came to his mind. THe attitude towards life seem that he rather give it up. O dont blame him for the feeling but the demand of putting the rest of the home to make us feel bad, i do.

My greatest disappointment is Mum, The one i thought i'm closest to seem so far. It kind of sad when u just cant be totally honest towards someone anymore. Many times i think she focuses on the less important things to much and feels too overwhelmed with everything else.
Somewhere this year she has been connering me over the smallest things. I do get irritated most of the time, but i know she is probably the onli one ive got at home. I long for the time where she will accept me for who i am and what i wish to be. She may not agress to it but at least i still have her love as my mother still.

I at home have not been all that goodie-two-shoes. Especially towards the 2nd half of the year. All that has been happening, the fighting at home, the mess and insecurity that has become of the family, i decided to be less than bothered. Its not that i dont care, but i realised that all my efforts to help and advice seem so insignificant and what ever i do at home dont seem to matter to anyone. Thus my actions now.

Work has somewhat been in slow progress this year. I realised that personal preference sometimes work over ur ability. Nowhere at work is as sincere as u may want it to be.. However i do aprreciate the few moments where i've learnts a lot more about ensemeble playing and especially in the quintets. 7 more months to survive in the army and i am kinda looking forward to it.

Apart from camp, thats where i enjoyy my work load. My busy time was during the SYF competition period. Running from school to school to teach. Really enjoy interacting with the school kids. In march, finally my dearest Alumni Band could showcase a little during the hai Sing Carnival. It was a tough project for me personally, but really glad i did it. My bigest highlight was the Hai sing's 50th anniversary gala performance. really felt good. Once again its another collaboration i organised, runned, and conducted on my own. And finally i premiered the school song for band and choir. Just wonder how much i am aprreciated in all these?

Amazingly, the year bought me to meet a lot more people. of a number i start to call friends. As i step deeper in the AJ circle, i mostly have friends from there. My weekends mostly revovle hanging out with my closer friends; out to drink, shop and definitely club. I realised that this is my peak of my life in its social aspect. From the past, i always thoght that my closer firends were always going to be my best friends. But pweople change as u move on to different places after u leave school or work. But now i found that m current social group can understand me. Though i must admit that many are not the best in character, there is when i filter my friends, there are the few i know whom will be there for me and look after me.

On the contrary, somehwere mid this year i thought ti found the best friend i;ve always wanted.. But i guess it was my blinded eyes seeking for a besti so desperately. It was a difficult friendship and it did not end well. This is when i realised that there are many different ones out there and no one will be perfect for u. Its the combination of different people who make u whole and compatible.

Support seems like the thing i really need from people mmuch more from friends. I dont this i am as materialistic or superficial, but one thing i appreciate is a true friend whom is there to listen and support. And i think i kinda need my own sourece to share with people rather than always the other way round.

Early this year, i finally decided to leave ministry. It was a long 1 1/2 years until i finally left. I guess i did not want to be selfish towards the members bercause cell was their well being. But finally i had to let go. Initially it was coz i did not have time for them. But my heart and mind was in a wrong state. Soon after i atop attending my ns cell and service completely. I looked at how superficial people took things for. And it questioned my heart about what a sheperd is. The first few years in ministry, i guess i tried to be as sincere as i could, But i think i ended up faking it through intellectual advice. Sometimes i really wonder how blessed people were with what i gave? Its going to be shocking for many who have known me. I left church not because i was ashamed of being aj.

I never felt so inedequate in my life when i'm church. Moreover, through the tough times at home, it seemed like i was the onli one who did not compromise church. It was what i thought made me strong. But i realised i was onli forcing muself to put up a strong front. I decided to stop.

Love and Romance, I guess to many is the mst juicy of topics in anyone's life. Something i have long ti experience again after a number of years. Not so fortunate in this area this year. I've had 1 or 2 innocent flings but nothing workied from just that friendship.
In the 2nd half of this year, i thought i found the one. I guess i fell too much for this person i hurt myself even befoe much could even happen. We seem tokick off pretty ok as a pair. But i guess i'm not meant to be. To be honest, this is one person i thought was really fitted for. But unfortunately it will never be what i expect and want it to be. I still do care You and i treasure that many moments together. I would never say i have moved on totally cause i had put a part of my heart to love u before. And u will always be a part of it even in the future.

No i am not desperate. I just want to find someone who is going to love me for as much i am ready to someone back. Sont get me wrong, i'm not implying to any random person who suddenly approaches me. But someone whom i am going to hold hands and give never ending smiles to. Someone i will be putting my time worth for. Someone who will share what i can give and in return too.

I have not given up on the idear of love. though most of my situationsin it never seem to show a bright of day at the end. I guess i am just not fitted to personality for anyone now. Its ok, i guess i just have to face the strokes of reality for now.

On a lighter side, many of my friends areund a slowly finding their love.It seems like 'going-steady' season again.. But i am really happy for them. Its always nice to see people happy and settled. I know how it feels when u are in love. Its totally awesome.

I guess for myself, the year seem to just past. full of activities and events. Among the most stressfulto face and sometimes quite dramatic. I must say its a year of lack of sleep too! But mostly enjoyed my regular hangouts.

All that is said.. i really hope who ever reads this will still accept me for who i am and who i wish to be. I'm sorri if i disappointed the some of u after reading this. But i guess this is kinda who i am for now. And i sincerely hope that it does not defer our friendship coz i am still the same Jon that u people know.

At this juncture, i'm still not too sure what i want to aim for in 2010. Though many plans to exxcel in my music studies. But yet to decide on a resolution.
2010 would be a grounding year for me. as i turn 21 and i officially ORD from army. Where my work and serious study start. Whats in store? What i really plan to do? i am not to sure yet. But for all its worth, i've to make it a better year for myself and a fabulous one to experience.

Before chirstmas comes and the year come to an end, i'd hope to thank my dearest friends for being there for me and sharing the many fun and upsetting times this year. I will definitely thank u all personally.

Its been a very interesting year and a once in a lifetime chance to see through. As as i move into a new season, i sincerely hope for the best for the family, my friends and myself and may all our deepest desires and dreams come true. =]

[Joni] Dec '09

(enjoy the few pics below of my '09)

BAND

FRIENDS

=]

had it!...

2009-11-10T22:18:00.002+08:00

Hi all

yet another update... well lots of ranting in this post again... but seems like that is what i usually do in blog rite.. sad but true...

well october has finally passed and its already the 10th!...time flies really.. but somethings just dont pass as fast i want to.

Well summerize things for u so its easier to read, somethings just not really meant to be in detail here...

k,finally up rank le.. means i should get like 20bucks more? 'wohoo?... -.-" '

so somethings have been happening.. seems like i have to be a lot more vocal lately.. not a really good thing also.. i'm usually less noisy unless i'm entertaining.. but i have seen myself complaining a lot.. i usually can take it and just keep things within myself.. but i'm just getting fustrated with how things are around me.. WHY!!!

One thing after another. really. its no joke..

Update... I have not had much rest since... eh... my birthday!? thats like first week of may... u know why?... coz thats when my weekends burn for NDP... and then.. after NDP, my dad had a stroke.. so daily visits after work and stuff.. just when he came back, barely 2 weeks, he had another stroke... its never ending!

and i feel so trapped with everything that is happening.. i dont even have the freedom to do something at my own atonomy!

k, so lately i have been busy preparing for the hai sing 50th anniversary gala performance... how i wish i could just go there and conduct.. teach the music.. but no, i end up doing everything else.. gosh...coz no one wants to take the responsibility of the alumni and even the main band anymore... its kinda sad, coz i see lots of demands from the members, things they want to see happening, but no one offered a hand in it.. onli having to be asked for help. there again, this is not the first, and not the 2nd alumni involved performance where i am doing this alone.. and it is definitely tiring... WHY CANT PPL HELP!!!
and of coz getting the nagging from the school teachers for things...

I've kinda had it le... i think i just need to let this go and focus on teaching music and teaching band... i really cant handle taking on the role of a conductor and run the band with a 1 man committee.. i am killing myself... so lets see who is 'responsible' enough to even try...

k, i cant wait for my holiday which is the few hours after the gala perf... 5 days in hong kong with my besti Dickson... it'll be a good breather for me.. i seriously need a break...

k la.. myeyes are shutting coz i had a long day on duty yest and today a parade... seeya soon!...

its a long long journey...

2009-10-18T15:41:00.005+08:00

Hey all

I'm back..

This last month has been a pretty tiring month. Physicially and Emotionally... its been tough, squeezing off every ounce of energy i have...

the last month or so, have not been feeling all that well. been in and out of fever, headaches, colds, soarthroats, and just fatigue..and i know it wont go away anytime soon...sighz...

Have been doing really tiring parades under the sun, really tanned now...i hope things will slow down soon...

Dad is finally home from the hospital after 2 1/2 months... quite a number of adjustments to be made at home. i am just not ready for another 'commitment' at home. to have to pick up after him. well most of the things are done by my maid, but the pressure is still at our shoulders.

My sis is also not really contributing much to ease anything.Just really pissed with her all the time. her attitude and character is just worse than mood swings.. more like a psycopath... I try not to bother.. but she is just making things so difficult. Is it always so easy to blame ppl, where u dont realise u are the cause of most of the problems! If i could say it, i'll tell u 'fuck care, and leave, u always think no one cares for u, then leave, thats what u prefer too, since u always complain abt the family' If u ever read this KIM, FUCK U! i had it with u. u dont realise how much mummy and daddy especially does for u. the amount of time, energy and money spent on u. They even spent so much money to put u to a university and u wasted it by not completing. u said u wanted to do it, but u countered back and said u were forced. u freaking dint even complete u O levels and u want to fight back and think u are smarter? please, u need wake up call, period.
U can carry on saying to everyone the things u say abt me, how u publicise abt me. But it seems that that is the onli thing u can say rite? coz u have nothing credible to fight on. U may be phsycally stronger and fight, u can shout as loud at anyone, but u can never outwin those who have brains and can think for themselves. u will eventually loose and u will be outcasted. u will never win, coz nth u seem to do makes sense. I really wonder why u need so much attention? u have enough, there is nth more anyone can give u, coz nth u ask for will come, since u never appreciate things, and u expect everything to just work for u. Reality check. this is no fairy tale. So wake up asshole!

My personal life is not all that awesome also, but i have come to that point where i know i cant get what i want, not most of the time. Its really fine, coz i know that life is always unfair, just a matter of how bad it can be. Well for me, i think, its a more like i am meant to run this life much less than on my own.

Well, on a lighter side, i'm planning a trip to Hong kong with Dickson in Nov.. it should be fun bah. i seriously need a break from everything. like a real break, some space to breath and really settle my mind to things...

K, so my biggest project now is the HSC 50th anniversary gala dinner perf. lots to do, organise and plan. and i really hope it'll be a good perf.

Oh, some pictures of the chamber concert i did last mth..

yea, well, finally to all that has been happening, this is the most dear to my heart lately.. "F", u know who u are, if u ever read my blog that is. I know its been really hard for u. i understand.. and i am still here for u, as i said before, i'll wait for u right here, i'm always a buzz away.
But through it all, for the past 3 weeks or so, i get this feeling i am no longer part of that fond feeling anymore. More like a memory waiting to fade away, and u just need to keep away. and its ok. i understand. I've been on my own for a long time.and i know i dont deserve u either. I treasure the time we had, and it was something i knew was great, and i really enjoyed myself with u. somethings i have never felt before. As cliche as it sounds, there is some truth in the experience. I'm not here letting u go, but just telling u that it is fine that i'm not the one u desire.
U know i will never lie to u, and i rather be honest abt my feelings too. And its not been the easiest of weeks for me too, but i respect how u feel, and really dont want u to worry abt me, u have ur weight of burden, i'm sorri i sound selfish. i hope this doesnt weigh anything lesser than what we may have had and things will be good. (ok, i know everything sounds so vague, so ask me if i'm bluring the intentions of the msg k). For what its worth, i'll still be here for u, and i'll still be waiting for that buzz yea.

I am here...

2009-10-04T17:11:00.004+08:00

If only you knew how much i miss you.

The cry within my heart even in a facade of silence.

I know i'm no better than anyone else, much less in the reality of things.

But you know i'll always be here, waiting for you.

When you are ready,

I am here...

[Joni]

1 month quick review...

2009-09-26T09:08:00.003+08:00

Hey all

Its been almost a month since i last blogged...

well.. some updates...

k, so my paternal grandfather passed away last sunday...I was at the wake everyday till the funeral on thursday... Kinda tired and stuff also.. with all the Bhuddist prayers and stuff... I'm the DaSao..

Had my Chamber Concert on that same thursday as well...

k, so Unlce shuboh and the whole family is in town since sunday... So i'll be going out with them later...

Some of my weekend parties too...lots of bdays, especially 21st s!!!!!

Ishita(bday girl) & I

Birthday Boy XinKai & I

With Trevel

haha.. i am amazingly red here.. i think i started a bit to earli, if u know what i mean...

Felix & I ... =]

so later going out shopping first and then a stay over at XinKai's for his birthday Party!... wah! i so need sleep!!! haha...

Happy Birthday Dickson...

2009-09-02T10:33:00.003+08:00

Hey all

OMG!!its so long since i updated..

haha..

ok, so some updates since..

Dad is still in the hospital. as of today it will be 23 days in hospital le.. little progress though..

Ohh yes, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DICKSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so, have been busy with stuff at work as usual, Army Open house is this thursday to monday.. cant wait for that to end! haha
So i am not selected for the Nan Chang China trip... kinda upset abt it, and how we were selected for it though.

So the week after WJ birthday, hmmz... well, i kinda got wasted again..oppz... i dint get drunk, just high.. see this is what happened on that sat..

I met clement in the taxi, he had some booze in a bottle and we started drinking that, imagine in the taxi.. haha..then we went to tantric, where we met James and Tonky.. They bought singapore sling and some other strong drink..that was kinda enough for me also... BUT!, then Wei Jie and XinKai came down to meet me, they came to buy me drinks... omg!!!

i agreed. they got one Blue splint(stong, and something i dont really like) and WHite Chocolate Martini,i LIKE!!!
and then they went crazy with 3 more BLUE SPLINTS!!! ARGH!!!!!

k, so sunday went to the Sentosa. With WeiJie,Xin kai, DenDen,Alvin and Rufus(the dog)
it kinda rained and spoilt the day out.. so we headed back to xinkai's to wash up. Headed to bugis in the evening to have steamboat, Imran and Trevel joined us too

...

so last weekend, kinda a disappointment over my meetings and outings and planz... everything got changed! sighs...

k,, so some pics from sat...

Henry & I

Esther & I

Felix & I

Me,Henry,Esther,Desmond

so i guess thats it since then...nth really much...haha

Wei Jie's 24th birthday...

2009-08-17T18:56:00.008+08:00

Hey all

Finally NDP is over! wohoo!!!!
Really happy its over.. Now i can focus on my other things too! haha

Ok, so this weekend, celebrated my bud, Wei Jie's Bday...

some pics below yea... =]

On Sat, went to meet Benji first in the afternoon..someone was late!! haha..walked around first.. i finally bought my suspenders! haha

Finally in the evening, we had dinner first.. at HK cafe..

TianShun & I

Benji & I

Buddy Wei Jie (Bday Boy) & I -- all dressed up

Group Pic!

Then it was time to PARTY!!!

Daniel, Eugene, Me

Me, Esther, Charlie

Benji & I

Joshua & I

The big heavy cake which i had to carry from paragon!

Benji,Robin,Clement&I-WATERFALL!...

Blaise & I

Bryan & I

Bday boy & I

Steve & I

Clement & I- Argh i am being squeezed by chicken little!

Going crazy lah..

Phillip & I

Ming Hong & I

Eli & I

Calvin,Me,Joel,Ruby

My really best pal Benji...

Botak boy & I

Dear Ruby & I

Me,Robin,Yang

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY!...

k, so sunday was the actual bday day... i brought Wei Jie and Xinkai to swiss o'tel merchant court for high tea.. then we went to watch dvd at cine... and of coz the temptation to club.. and thats what we did.. lolz... but we stayed out till 2.30 onli.. all kinda tired and stuff also..

well it was one stressed and eventful weekend.. i hope u enjoyed urself wei Jie...
Woah i realised 1 whole blog post dedicated to u lehs.. haha

Pictures!!...

2009-08-06T14:13:00.004+08:00

Hey all

Its a few days away to NDP! yay! and its finally gonna be over! cant wait for that to happen!!

i owe everyone a lot of photo updates! so here goes.. haha..

on 25th July

WeiJie,me,XinKai

Me,Yang,Dennis,XinKai,Steven,Esther,WeiJie

Group Photo!

Buddy Wei Jie and I

(clockwise)Me,Henry,Joel,Esther,Wing,Thomas

On 2nd Aug!

AhBoy,Me,Shah,Phillip,Joel,Calvin

Group Pic.. Shah looks funny!

(clockwise) WeiJie,Joel,Calvin,Joshua,XinKai,Dennis,Esther,Me

=]

Those were some pretty fun Evenings!!

So yesterday i had a halfday, met with WeiJie and Xinkai first for a super late lunch.. Later met with Josh and Esther, Went to watch "the Hangover' at cine..was a good laugh.. haha...

went for supper at meridian foodcourt and then hanged out at starbucks and outside PS after...

XinKai & me

Blaise,WeiJie,Me,Joshua,XinKai

=]

Buddy & Me

Group Pic! Blaise,Xinkai,WeiJie,Esther,Joshua,Me

yupz... cant wait for NDP to end as i mentioned... the week after is my Bud, wei Jie's bday.. hmmz.. lots to plann.. haha...going to dinner and club that evening..i hope i dont go wacked and drunk!..
will update more soon =]

lost...

2009-07-27T23:46:00.002+08:00

Hey all

its me.. yes i'm still alive lo..
but the blog is dying..

the last 2 weeks have been pretty mundane as usual..
i'm officially out of cash..and have been tapping on money i should not even be touching.. omg... i'm so dead! pay day pls come fast lehs!...

lately i've been in a world of a real unknown.. gosh, i'm doing so many things, but i have no idea for what anymore...i dont regret what i'm doing though..
the time i'm spending with my buddy and my other pals..
but i feel a bit out of focus with things...lets just say i want real things to happen for me soon... not like some expected program at work... something extreme for me, jsut me onli... i need a new change!or more like Something new!

hmmz... my future is still very blured out... it goes nothing future than whats going happen tomorrow.. gosh.. kinda lost with life... Bummer!...

path of life...

2009-07-15T10:40:00.004+08:00

Hey all

the last week has been trerribly tiring... not a lot of work though.. but a lot of chionging and late nights...

I finially finished all my dine-in performances. phew... that was a real dread...

NDP is almost here.. and i am just counting down to the day when its all over. I am usually very patriotic on national day. But being involved in ine this year, i totally hate it now. the many months of training for the big day is actually quite useless to me me though.. i see the lack of proper planning by some people, requires such long rehearsals; it can be done really fast.
thankfully i'm doing it only once in NS.

Sat's rehearsal ended really really late. It was the NE show for the pri 5 students. Wow, they were really really annoying. I totally understand it though. They cant appreciate parades. Laughing at all the funny commands. Sreaming at the cannon salutes. repeating commands after the parade i/c.
well they are kids.. i don think i can even remember what was happening during my pri 5 NE show. Just knowing i reached back at school super late at 11+pm, seeing my dad sitting at the foyer steps to drive me home.(wow, it jsut hit me tat 11+pm then was considered super late =\)

So of coz i chionged on sat night, ... drank a little too much too, was kinda tired and totally pissed about the planning of NDP, i got a little high... got home at 5am. And i had to be back in camp in the late morning on sunday for another presidential garden reception. I was totally not expecting this. My dad knocked on the door at 6.30 am! i was going to scream when i hear the door knock; i just got to bed! but he asked if i needed a lift to work! WOHOO.. save me 1 1/2 hours of travelling and more sleep.. THANKS DAD!

that whole day was totally horrible. i kinda had a really bad hangover which wouldnt go...i onli became better around 7pm! k, so i kinda chionged that night also, to 2 different places summore...but it was ok bah... after that the group of us went to lau pa sat for 'morning supper'. thankfully Yang drove me home.. got back at 6am! wahaha..

Monday was totally sleep day for me =]

Went out on tuesday.
Met with Esther in the morning at sengkang.. went to punggol beach =] was really nice and quiet there..attepmted to fly ourr kite there but the wind wont last.. so we kinda gave up and decided to wade in the water! haha.then we slacked off at compassvale. went to clerk quay to buy some really nice sweets @ Sticky...and slacked off at the pier... some pictures!

@ Punggol Beach

Ms Esther Goh

King of the Rock?..lol

Posing or scraching leg?

The rocks around are super nice lahz..

Off to Clerk Quay

k, evening met up with Wei Jie and Ben for dinner at Ceni...so we decided to watch a movie.. well DVD rather.. watch Marley & Me.... aww!!! sobz sobz.. really nice show...then after, we went to heeren to have coffee..
Haiyo those 2, funny lahz.. nice couple.. =] OH YA, WE FORGOT TO TAKE PHOTO AGAIN!!!!...

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I've been on my own for so long now. i dont have to walk down a street to see what i want, i see it when i'm with my friends; people i'm with. Longing for so many things i know i will never get. i looked in the mirror and assessed myself, and i have accepted the fact of who i am, how i am, what i am. In my head, i tell myself i have to accept myself for my material self. How i look, how i behave, my character, my emotions.

(No, to advertising the shoe, took it at the beach..)

In my heart, it tells a different story. I know i can change the way i am. the spot i am in. I can change the way i look, the way i act, the way i behave.
Something so personal, but one of the hardest things to do in this world.

To me its, me, myself against the world.

dots...dots...dots...

2009-07-07T11:04:00.004+08:00

Hey all

k, update the old post first...

some pictures with esther on our little outing to Max Branners..

the dessert!!

Sinful indulgence!

Was a nice evening

nothing happening much the last few days though..Sat NDP rehearsal as usual.. with the NE show 1..

i'm on off today.. but super sian, no one to go out with sia... haiz..

Long, tough, Emotional, tired, depressed...

2009-07-03T09:18:00.004+08:00

Hey all

another long time since i last posted..

eh, have been really busy with work.. Finally SAFday is over on wednesday... now just left with 3 dine-ins and NDP... sadly my saturdays are still going to be burnt coz of NDP stuff.. sighz...

lots have been happening...as usual i became a little emo lately also coz of some social issues i had... very depressed and disheartening lo... but i have to learn how to let go, at the expense of a friendship... its hard, and i dont know how can anyone want to let go friendship. haiz..

ok.. so the last weekend after NDP rehearsal, rushed down for Colin's Bday... some picture updates!

Jonathan, me, clement

Me,Benjamin,Cheris,Matthew,Samuel,(dunno his name),Gabriel

Colin,me,Clement

Me with the birthday boy

realised i looked super red in all the photos? haha..

well due to many reasons... i was really tired from NDP rehearsal and i had quite a number of different drinks.. and coz i got sunburnt also! i look like a tomato!!! so red!!

yea, next few weeks, will be NE shows at marina patform le.. i foresee it will all be long nights.. dunt know if i can go out le.sobz,...

well yest went out with Esther and her Uni mates for a movie and walked around town a bit.. after,we left the group, went to have tauhui at selegie, haha kinda our dinner... Headed down to Esplanade to sit at the pier... really nice there lolz....Then i brought her to max Branners.. had a really sinful waffle dessert and oreo choco drink! wohoo!! sugar high!!! haha.. was a nice evening! yea will upload the photos when i get it from Esther tonight!

so long no update!...

2009-06-21T21:17:00.004+08:00

Hey all

Gosh, its been like more than 2 weeks since i blogged...

and nobody seem to care.. hmmz.. interesting...

anyways..

life have been really rushed and busy for me!.. oh manz...

Preparing for SAFDAY and NDP.. its no joke, the whole day gone, for the weeks for practice... and not to mention the SUN IS NOT HELPING TOO!!!

yea, another 1 week or so to SAF day and things will be better bah...and its just NDP to focus on... my SATs are still burnt from NDP though...

other than that, nothing really much though...

I have been spending many of my evenings eithr sleeping or really chionging outside with friends for movies or shopping.. haha...

well, at least i am kept occupied with things also, or else i'll be so dead emo all the time too...

transformers is coming out this tues! a MUST WATCH! and of coz ice age in 1 week's time... wohoo.. i have been quite a movie buff too.. GOSH< no money liao.. haha...

ok, so for ur info, if u would like to know, i am doing ok, just a little burntout from all the rehearsals.. but i'm doing ok! =]

Blood...

2009-06-05T13:57:00.002+08:00

Hey all..

this week surprisingly has been a really slack week. strange.. haha.. but have been doing a lot of personal stuff too.. at least is have time to do my own stuff also...

I have finally published my music arrangement =]..... now in the process of my composition ..

today, going out with Daniel, Benji and Ivan in the evning for dinenr and movie... going to watch Blood-the last vampire.. hope its good...

i stumbled onto this Vid... Nobody in english! haha
specially dedicated to my Batch 77!! since we are all hooked onto the song! wahaha..

just overwhelmed...emotionally...

2009-05-31T21:37:00.006+08:00

Hey all

here to update again.. i realised i havent written anything for a long long long long time.. just that i have been lazy to update... omg.. i hope i am not losing the passion the blog anymore..

ok so some updates since after my bday weekend party..

Nothing much have been happening at work.. the usual stuff though... parades, welcome ceremonies, and the botanical gardens performance. Well, this week went down to tekong for the BMT band auditions. nice to see some farmiliar faces there too...nice to be back there too...

My sats now are practically sold to the army to have NDP rehearsals.. but i force myself into going out at night with my frens till late.. hoping to get everything off my mind..

Well...emo stuff later, on the lighter side, i had a day out with my buddy esther on friday!

Haha.. planned to go to botanical gardens with lunch picnic, but an emergency cropped up with here family side, so i accompanied her to settled it.. but she still wanted to go to botanical gardens.. so we did, with tea instead.

Really nice sights there... some pics..

At the main gate

this is rally nice pic, right esther!? coz i'm the photographer! wahah!!

oh yes, we attepted to fly a kite.. but not much wind, so it kinda failed

scenic...

A bit of CamWhoring while having a picnic

Was a good day out!

Yup, my day off was good, Thanks esther for hanging out with me yea!

ok, so the last 2 weeks have been emotionally challenging for me...a lot in my mind, and wil share some stuff here, some not really ready to publicly say, but if u want to know then ask me personally.

I realised how bad a situation i am in.. first comes family.. omg, i know i shouldnt be complaining and be thankful for the things i have,.. but omg! everyone in my family has super big flaws which is super irritating... my mum, dad and sis.. and they dont even realise they are doing wrong, or affecting ppl! All the big talk abt advice and morals, when u dont even live up to what u preach, and u expect ppl and ME for the matter to listen and follow.. I will sigh under my breath,shake my head many a times, and get irritated... Y am i stuck with ppl like these...summore my immediate family!

well, i have been trying to drown myself away from things on my mind through ate nights out. especially the last few weekends... but seems many attempts just makes me recollect it.. keep failing... i guess ur nightmares and emo thoughts just comes back to haunt u all the time, no way to run.. when u get so deep into it, u cant hide...

Personally also, i have been trying to find things out for myself...not going to say much here.. onli in private if u ask k.. but i realised i'm not meant to have many things too.. based on situations i'm in, or coz i'm permanently stuck in a place where it wont improve. just have to fight my way out...

ARGH!!! omg.. i am just emotionally overwhelmed now...i cant even work properly! i even have to appear like everything seems alright, but within i'm just crushed with so many thoughts and grieviance.. everything is affected...just hate it...

How i just need someone to listen to me, talk to me about things that is happening to me... and still not judge me after what i have to say.. and not reply with the comment "everyone goes through things like this" coz i freaking dont care.. i am stuck with my problems, so deal with me first!...i just need that shoulder to cry on...

stuck alone...

My 20th Birthday...

2009-05-18T19:43:00.005+08:00

Hey all

its after 2 weeks from my bday.. and here are some updates...

since my last update... I have been partying quite a bit.. haha...

The weekend of my bday.. friday, Clement brought me out to club.. apparently some KL DJ there.. but he was totally horrible.. however, i got kinda wasted.. oh gosh! bad bad!!! reached home late too.. Thanks clement for looking after me...

On sat, went for Conrad's bday dinner at sharngri-la 'the line'

Me, Wei Loong, Conrad, Marcus

Wei loong & I

Firdaus aka FiFi & I

Hazmi & I

Then after that i left(pang seh-ed..lol) the whole group and went to meet my other frens to club... guilty again.. lolz... but i think we left quite earli coz was a little tired from the night before.. haha...

Ok, so the next day(sun) was Mother's day... brought my Mum out for a nice dinner at Gillmard Village .. Then i went crazy again when clement called me.. after dinner, i met him and we went to Zirca! omg.. first time being there also.. lucky monday i was on off from work. 3 days clubbing! wohoo!!! partying away! and yes all these fo my birthday treat as well!!

ok.. then it was back to work for the week again... and the big party came!!! on friday 15th.. at costa sands Pasir ris where i had my chalet and dinner party..

turn out was great, got 2 chalets and lots of ppl... damn dint take a lot of photos though and not with everyone!! argh!!!

Me and my Big super yummy hazelnut chocolate cake.. it went off really fast!

My family

HSC Band/Alumni band

HSC cell

My poly Clique

SAF Band -batch 77

My hangout buddies!!

Some of my teaching collegues

Childhood friend Matthew

My Cam Whore buddy Esther!

Robin & I

Bernard & I

Clement & I

My buddy benji & I

so some of my friends stayed over and i zonked out around 5am... Met my besti dickson for lunch at this Jap Resturant in E-hub.. then went for movie.. haha. watched Angels and Demons.. Not bad bah..

k, so it was already around 6+ after the movie.. i had another party plan that evening.. haha.. Yes, club again of coz.. with some of my frens..

Ok.. failed attempt on my hp cam..
Me(looking fat), Benjamin, Cheris

Cheris & I... gosh my face is super red...

Ian, Me, Cheris, Shermie.. i think Benjamin is hidden behind! haha...

yea... so thats whats have been happening so far.. cool eh... 1 more party though.. haha.. Kinda big and long.. my band superior said 'i'm the queen of england ah? birthday so long'......so many ppl thought it was my 21st! gosh! thats old for me now! 'well its my 21st birthday rehearsal!" wahahahah!!!

Ok, its a chiong week for me this week.. still with the NDP recording, 2 Welcome ceremonies at istana, Band practices, Sat with NDP rehearsal, Sunday with a concert! wow!!! and i am exhausted already!!! NO!!!..

alrights... this is how much u have missed if u dint come to my party/ parties/ outings! lolz... lots more pictures on my facebook k!

will update soon!...

i'm 20!....

2009-05-05T23:24:00.006+08:00

hey all

Its my birthday! =]

birthday extravegenza started on sat! haha..had a good night out then and of coz meeting 'P'! haha...

Sunday went out with my family and god-bro daniel for dinner.

Daniel & i

my sis and I

Kim & I

Today.. guess its just alright for me though..coz i was at work as usual!.. But my army band batch mates brought me out to a Jap dinner after in town... treated me to a surprise birthday cake too..really sweet.

KokWey & I

Johnathan & I

Victor & I

Wei loong & I

Wei Lung & I

And there's the cake! haha...

ok.. so will have a few more mini parties for my birthday this coming 2 more weekends.. haha.. seems like a rather big one hor! haha...

Hope my 20th yr will be a good one.. =]

Round 1 of Birthday fest!...

2009-05-03T11:01:00.003+08:00

Hey all

I finally went out yesturday evening..after 4 days of just staying home and not even looking out of my balcony or window..

I actually planned to have dinner and then maybe club with my clubbing friends as a pre bday outing. but no one was free this weekend.. sobs.. so i almost cancelled out. Lucky 2 ppl said they going clubbing.. yayz.. at least half of the plan...

k, so i met Corin at tanjong pagar and we walked to the club...most of my other khakis were not around last night.. so tagged along with corin. dint really fit in with his friends though.. not sure why... after that we went to the dance floor and we all were dancing.. and for 80% of the time, i just felt kinda alone.. i just look at all his friends and the rest of the ppl around, everyone is coupled up! omg! i'm suchb a loner.. that 2 mins was just horrible, being pushed around by dancing ppl and that thought in my head.

k...anyways... after that.. i met someone though...=] i hope its not going to just be a fling..opps... i did enjoy myself with "P".. yupz.. saved by 'p' from isolation last night. of coz the rest of the evening is 'sensored to my mind'! wahaha!! sound so wrong! haha...

I dint get to meet XiaoQiang there also... he said he was dacing somewhere but it was too crowded..

ok... so its 2 days to my birthday... so round 1(club) done... today is round 2..i wonder what my NS cell is going to do though. then in the evening, myfamily and my god-siblings are taking me out for bday dinner at gilmard village...

yupz.. its gonna be an eventful couple of weeks of birthday stuff.. i hope.. lolz..

high fever...

2009-05-01T14:21:00.003+08:00

Hey all

some of u already know that i was sick over the last few days... came down with fever on monday after my rehearsal at SAFTI...

still went on to work on tuesday for the Jap navy band exchange and the actual DMG performance... i so regreated it though i had no choice...went to the docs that evening and my temperature was 38.9.... damn.. so high!had a terrible gastric too... i came home and it went up to 39.1! argh!!!

was told that if it goes up even more, i may be hospitalised! AND NO! ITS NOT THE SWINE FLU!!!!

k.. fever onli came down yesterday so my whole wednesday was 'baking hot' jon...

feeling a lot better now... my fever is gone.. but the gastirc is still bugging me.. sighz....

ok.. uplodaed this song.. something different after a while.. but its so how i'm feeling now! argh!!!

ok.. so i need to be in tip-top condition soon for my bday! and the few weeks of celebration!

sick!!

2009-04-27T18:49:00.007+08:00

Hey all

Its been a while..

so My last week has been ok i guess...

As i last left off... i went out with benji and xiaoQiang... cam whored a bit with them and a few other friends...

benji & I

Me,Clement,Benji

Clement,Me,benji,robin

Ian,me,Clement,Robin

benjamin,me,clement,robin

So hanged put with them till really late.. got home like 4.45am and slept at 5! haha... wads even funny was i got up at 9.. my mum asked the family to go to sentosa for the day! wah shag!!

Some pics

Kim & I

Family

ok.. so nothing much again over the week the same usual army stuff..

Sadly today i am sick.. sobz.. my whole body just collapsed after i came back from work... tried to nap but cant lo... and tml i have a performance to do lahz!!! darn!!!

Body kinda aches lo... HOW HOW!! and my bday is in 1 week lor.. i cant get sick now!!!

tired...

2009-04-18T11:39:00.003+08:00

Hey all

This week have finally passed...

The usual at work.. Just that the last few weekdays, i am feeling really tired.. yah.. and if i nap, i jsut dont want to get up;.. the total lack of sleep.

k.. so last night i was at anuty Koushu and Uncle Raghu's 25th wedding anniversary.. haha..real cool...

today, going out in the evening for dinner with Benji.. then meeting xiaoqiang after that.. lol..

k, so monday i am on BO duty.... to have to stay in again.. at least i'm foinf it with Wei loong.. so i have some good company... I hope the coming week will be eventful... getting really mundane....

k, nth much le...i think..seeya!

eat eat eat...

2009-04-13T15:54:00.005+08:00

Hey all

another update..

Met with Benji at Yio Chu kang for tennis... it was raining in the morning.. but it stopped when it was time to play..sadly we had to clear the water away.. so tiring lo..haha... it was a good game though.. havent played for so long lahz... haha...

After that Met with Esther at Dhouby Ghaut...went to look for Li Hong's present.. yup.. got him a real nice Mooks t shirt.. haha..hehe..i also got one.. haha

Then we went to Tamp Starbucks for Coffee =]

Went home to wash up while Esther Entertained my doggies!.. apparently she cam whored with them as well..

K, so we went for Li Hong's Bday chalet... Wow.. i ate so much manz!... and PICS!!!

Burt & I

Zhi Hao & I

Hongwei & I

Xue Ying & I

Razanah & I

Esther & I

Xue ying,me,Isaac,ManNing

HSCBAND!

batch '89! (with missing ppl of coz!)

haha...

today My officer brought the whole band to Rice Table at Orchard for a lunch alacarte buffet.. i feel so fat now manz! the whole weekend eating non stop.. now it has to stop! haha...

will update soon... =]

Trip to malaysia -batch 77...

2009-04-12T09:06:00.009+08:00

hey all

Its the good friday weekend.. Went to malaysia with some of my batch mates from band =]
was pretty fun!

We started out meeting for breakfast at bugis macdonalds.. and then took a bus to woodlands check point..

kok Wey making stupid faces.. lol

Slutty Jeryl.. haha

It was all good and no traffic on the causeway =]
so when we got to JB.. we walked around City square.. nothing really much there though... so we took a cab to Jusco.. apparently JB's biggest mall

Jon and I

Kok wey and jon

OMG sensored! haha...

So when we got to Jusco, we had our lunch at this restaurant called Nando's.. chicken and beef place.. fod not bad bah..and CHEAP!!!
and of coz camwhored a lot there too!

jon,me,Wei loong

So the place was really big!!! lots of shops and stuff.. very much like another vivo city...We went to Buskin Robbins for Desert too.. Was really really good.. so much ice cream!!!

and as usual having fun with the cam

k, so we went to play at the arcade a little and did some shopping =] i bought 2 volumes of compliations of jap animation of Joe hisaishi's shows.. wohoo!!!

evening came and we headed back to city square and had dinner at Kenny Rogers...and the last part b4 we left was... J.CO donuts!!! haha.. was cheap there lahz...

Yup.. was a good day out with the guys!

Thanks guys for a good short holiday trip!!!

arghz...

2009-04-06T21:09:00.003+08:00

Hi all

its been abt 2 weeks since i last updated..

really been busy.. well i have had time online too lahz.. but just a lazy to blog..

SYF started last monday...I dont want to start blogging abt syf.. too sian liao...

So sat i went out with Benji! went to watch the preview of "knowing"... not bad bah..u should catch it, it comes out this week i think..Then after that his other friend came to join us and we went for dinner at Maxwells...I ended up having a free dinner of hokkien mee.. i realised the uncle dint ask for his money after i left lor! haha..

Then we went clubbing a bit too.. was so crowded lahz.. more then the usual size.. oh wells.. Bumped into some farmiliar faces there too =]

k, i left for home on the bus at 3.15am and reached home at 4.45!!! gosh!!! so long lahs!

k.. finally got some photos of lynn's wedding lunch that day! haha..

haha.. all the teachers!

well.. this week i am on Duty Musician post.. so sian lors!!! argh! cant wait for the weekend!!

Carnival over...

2009-03-29T09:02:00.005+08:00

Hey all

Back again to blog...

Yesterday was busy busy day..

Went to Hai Sing earli in the morning to prepare for the carvival. The alumni Band Put up a performance at the foyer at Noon.

some pictures..

Group photo with Alumni!!!

My Bassoon Junior Angus, wah become alumni liao! haha

My bassoonies!!

So after , i went home to rest.. i was super tired.. the whole day was just so so so so HOT!!

But evening, had a BBQ at my place... my sis was celebrating her 19th Birthday...
Was ok i guess lahz...

The Infamous Tazmanian devil cake!

My Family

My god-Brothers and sisters..
From left: Gerad,Me,Daniel,Mum,Valerie,Kim,Jasmine,Dad,Jer Blinn

Kim and I

alrights.. to one performance is down... and SYF starts tml.. finally.. just want it all to end quickly lor... haiz.. tired liao...

The last couple of days have been a little emo also... haiz... sometimes thinking abt things is inivitable... how to tell ppl not to think about it or dont think too much? when it come, it comes... onli way is to keep urself busy from being too free to think abt things...

I wish things were better lor... i just feel very neglected lo.. everything just seem to be on surface level. u know, i get ppl telling me that i'm lucky to be doing the things love and im put in good positions.. but after doing this so much(and yes i do love it), i realise my relationships with ppl are not as soild as how it should be> and being so busy and tired at times, its not making my sensitivity to ppl and better too..and i this point, i'm sorri, but life sucks.

as usual...

2009-03-26T21:14:00.002+08:00

Hey all

its been a week again...
Nothing much have changed.. i have been busy and tired of a lot things as well..haiz.. lots on my mind lor.. i'm sorri to those out there reading and wondering what the heck is jon talking abt.. i know many of my posts have been very vague.. some a sesitive and private matters which i cant go in detail to everyone..

this week have been alright i guess...Monday had a seminar with composer Jacob De Hann...rest of the days were band pracs and stuff... normal lor.. but i have been feeling really tired also.. trying to rush with my band arrangement lo.. seems to be getting no where.. sighz..

These couple of days will be really busy... Sat, i'm conducting my hai sing alumni band in a performance in the afternoon.. night, my sis is having a birthday bbq...

Syf starts next week.. i have come to a point where i dont really bother about results as much now...maybe coz i'm not the one conducting the bands i'm helping... i just need to do my job and make sure they are musical..I am just waiting for the whole thing to quickly end! argh...

k.. will update soon k...back to life again...

not happy...

2009-03-20T23:24:00.002+08:00

Hey all

If i could use a vulgar word now i would.. and i would scream it out so loud that the world can hear, till the police will come and IMH will rush to me. I so wished i could do that.. and tell everyone that 'HEY, THERE IS A HUMAN BEING LIKE U ALL THERE CALLED JONATHAN OH! YES THATS ME! I HAVE EXSISTED ON THIS EARTH FOR ALMOST 20YEARS IF U HAVENT NOTICED!!"

haiz.. ok just a little irritated with some ppl around me, and i feel just angry about how ppl treat me... if i was ur friend, u would think about me too wad...or at least try..i'm not asking anyone to think of me like 24/7.. that would be my gf! ..well u get what i mean...

haiz... dunno what to say la...things are just one after another...y do i bother so much..put in effort in the essential things and they dont work out.. i'm just wasting my time lo...I was on the way home just now and i thought, if its going to be like this, u'll see the old quiet jon again. I am so going to isolate myself and just work work work.. and friend wont seem important, well i think no one will realise also bah...

k.. i'm just hovering over the same thing.. u get what i'm saying here...

haiz...

2009-03-16T21:00:00.004+08:00

Hey all..

Its been a long time since i last blogged..

Hmmz..Nothing really very exciting has been happening though...work is as per normal i guess..I havent really spent a lot of time with my batch ppl lately.. we all have been busy with our own commitments and band schedules.. so hard to even have an afternoon with them. lately onl really busy with my alumni band.

The more i interact with people, i realised that beacuse of our local culture, we always fail to see the good side in things before pointing whats wrong. u kow its like that say in the army.. u can do 100 good things, but u'll be marked down for that 1 wrong move, and ur reputation is over..

Complaining so much and hoping that things will turn out ur way is just a mere route of being irritating. Sommore complain to people who got no influence in deciding things. what good is it? So if you are guilty, STOP!

yet again, i have fall short of bringing myself into that regular self-pity mode again and again. I just cant help myself sometimes.. when i am placed in situations where i am always in the losing end...

Sometimes i wonder why i'm put in a good environment where i just cant match up to it. To be honest, i like being in such areas, but my life generally just cant seem to be on par with them.

Maybe thats y i am trying so hard to be independent, yet working so hard to find close friends too... Both great to invest in but failing. Maybe i'm taking things to fast sometimes.. but i think i'm go in desperation to secure them.but on the other hand, i do wonder why i put in so much effort in friendship and stuff when its onli 1 way.. and after everything, i feel so used and unwanted coz i'm not treated in the same respect. Friends are so hard to come by nowadays, many just wants companions of their choice and be there for them, not there for u... Hmmz.. maybe i should stop being so nice to everyone.

I think i need to engrave the thought that life is really unfair.

D&D

2009-03-06T20:09:00.007+08:00

Hey all...

been a while since i updated..I had my unit's D&D on tuesday night... it was really fun! was at the SAF yacht club(changi)... haha..as many of u know..i did a performance in the D&D.. some chinese cha-cha... haha..was really fun and entertaining! and we won! wohoo!!

ok..some pics of the D&D here...

keng Hwee aka Kiwi & I

The BURFday boi (marcus)

My SL (liang You) who also won the bicycle he dint want in the lucky draw

My very nice and generous and super good cook Staff Sergent Ginny

My buddy Wei Loong...

And of coz here came our performance! wohoo!!.. Puss'arts!
Alan,Me,Jais,LyeHuat

Not bad picture hor?

Peiling and justin... hmm..i wonder what this papa is doing?

Peiling and I

hmmz... Andre acting cool?

Louis...I'm not drag! its aGo-Go!

Group pic!

Wei Loong again.. with a tongue act.. hmmz...

batch 77 withought desmond!!! argh!!!

k will update soon bah..

Ponyo..

2009-03-02T09:15:00.002+08:00

Hey all

I'm on off today... haha

Yesterday Change of guards at orchard-istana was postponed. Wow.. apparently its been a long time since this happened. haha.. well so worked a few hours and today is off..wohoo!
well its postponed to next week though..that means i gotta be there next sunday again..

k, actually these last few days not really busy de..

Sat, woke up for alumni band.. band was pretty ok this time.. fuller size =] hhaa.. then the rest of the day was spent at home stonning lo.. haiz..
Sunday, woke up, went for lunch with my family at Ikea and dad sent me to camp. of coz the whole thing cancelled.. haha..
Today.. hmms.. i'm gonna meet Jonthan Goh, from my sec school.. oh manz.. so long since i last met him.. haha..good time to catch up sia.. haha..

i've been listening a lot to th joe hisaishi 2008 concert.. haha.. really good sia.. some of it here.. darn, too bad youtube doesnt have the full version.. all cut...

Ponyo on the cliff by the sea is starting to interest me manz.. never really been into that.. but some parts to the music is really nice...

nothing much lately actually. things just same and dull also... a bit emo lately too.. argh.. just irritating.. i just wish things would be better.. yea it would be good eventually , but i the wait is difficult.. haiz...

another pissed off day...

2009-02-27T22:59:00.003+08:00

ARGH!!!!

everything seems so messed up! these last couple of days is really horrible..
The biggest problem of it all is MY DARN COMPUTER!!!!

first on Wednesday, my telephone cable linking to my modem broke(coz i using singtel) and seemed like all other telephone wires dont allow me connect to the internet.. my evening was kinda ruined!

then thursday came... i finally bought a new telephone wire and phew my internet was enabled.. BUT!!!
1! it seems like hotmail is having a BIG BIG problem.. i signed-in into msn and ALL my contacts are gone! I asked one of my friends and he said that ppl can see me online even though it shows i have no contacts. I thought it was a MSN prob.
I went to my hotmail account and found that all my contacts there are also missing!i went to download the latest messenger live...

So the onli solution is to get ppl to add me or i add them back into msn so i can see them online again!...

2! suddenly my comp went super lag and slow...and funny pop-ups came up though i have pop-up blocker...and a major spyware problem.. wah, stressed and super pissed at this point. it was so hard to finally get all my scanners to run..

but i finally got it done over night and cleared it when i woke up this morning..

today i got back to my comp and messenger is giving probs again.. a lot of bugs on my internet.. sianz! argh..i got so many important things on my comp.. i wish i could just reformat everything but save what i need.. SOMEONE HELP ME WITH THIS!?!?

ok.. other than the stupid hotmail prob....today, nothing much ar work again. i was super sleepy lahz...i went to swensens with Wei loong and Desmond... had dinner and desert there..

i wish there were and are more times like this where i can just hangout with friends..just having a good time and not bother about the stresses of life and work. How bad situations just ruin everything thing sometimes..

sobz...

2009-02-25T22:35:00.002+08:00

Hi all.. a while since

been pretty hectic lately and lots on my mind..

I wish things were better...

for those closer to me, u know i have been talking abt relationship and people a lot...i realised that though its hard to find the right person for me, its hard to even find the right friends...

i dont know manz...sometimes i just find that i am just wasting time with some people... i know we always say when things dont seem to be right, we have to look at ourselves before we judge others.. but then, i really think, sometimes its not me lehs.. y should i always accomodate to my friends..

dont get me wrong, i love my friends and i will do anything for them, but dont u think it should be 2 way too? sometimes i wish ppl also spare a thought for me? y is it always me for other people? i fall in the category of people too.. i want to be someone's friend too u know..

yah i know i sound emo now... but its just something i am getting a little irritated more than emo... coz its been a vicious cycle all the time.. it just stinks to always find that the same thing is happening to me over and over again.

i am not directly pointing at anyone by name here, so dunt suspect.. but of coz if u think ur guilty then i hope u understand how i feel too.

i am just irriated at the fact that people just like to toy around with other people's feelings and take advantage of their help... it hurts the heart a lot!...yah, ok..enough said, i guess most of u know what i am trying to say..

will update soon, hopefully when i am feeling better...

sick and fustrated...

2009-02-19T20:58:00.006+08:00

Hey all

well, aother 1 week almost gone... haiz.. i'm so disappointed that i am not blogging as much...

u know i even thought if i should shut this down? pls left me know if u think i should? coz i duno if ppl actually read it lor..... k i'll put a poll at the side and see how many ppl actually visits my blog lor... sad lah.. even my tag board is not active lahz... KNS!

oks.. so last sunday i had rehearsal with HSC band at Singapore conference hall in the afternoon... the bus ride up and down was so stuffy and hot..

and i fell ill..

and for the rest of the days till now i am with a flu and irritating cough..

so this weekend will be a busy one for me too.. and next week too.. haha...

er...sighs.. lots on my mind again... sobz...

Day out with Esther...

2009-02-14T16:55:00.006+08:00

Hi all..

Yest was on leave... Decided to go out with esther,..yupz..
so we met earli for breakfast at white sands and we took a train to Chinese Gardens.. haha..so far right! haha...Was really cool! cam whored a lot sia!..

Yup so we visited the chinese and japanese gardens there... haha

Then we bumped into a cute ols china couple who wanted to take our pic! wahha...

Haha.. they cam whored for us sia...

haha.. and i made a new friend!

k, so we paid $5 to enter this turtle meusum.. lolz...

k, so it was just a wacky day!

k..after that we both went to town...

Decided to watch a movie at cine.. benjamin buttons... long show.. but really nice!
haha.. and then i finally bought myself a pair of sandles at NUM... coz my slippers was killing my toe! haha..

k, evening time, we met with Huiting and Sabrina for dinner... wow havent seen them in ages! yup.. went to chijmes for dinner and later adjourned for drinks

With Sabrina

HuiTing & Sabrina

I guess i was the Rose among the thorns lahz.. opps.. haha

gosh, my watch was really bling bling..

I have a whole lot more pics here if u want to see k

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=76118&id=504091511&l=5cf71
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=76119&id=504091511&l=244ae
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=76120&id=504091511&l=05c72

k it was a good day with Esther.. THANK YOU CAM WHORE BUDDY!!!

ok.. today is 14th Feb.we all know what day it is... it is dreadful... morning had alumni band prac..that was fine...

Evening is coming in a couple of hours and i am getting irritated and emo le...restless too...sighs.. seems like its going to be a sad one this yr.. likely i'll end up going to my parent's friend's bbq at downtown east later. its not as bad lahz., but thats not how i expected my valentines day to be like... haiz.. maybe just not meant to have what i wanted...

k..maybe its the whole self-pity state i am in and becoz today is V.day.. but i've not been having any luck in tis area for a long time... whats wrong with me!?

haiz....

NO Valentine!...

2009-02-11T22:08:00.001+08:00

Hi all

Things have been pretty ok for me so far...
Sunday, spent the day with Wei Loong..Morning went to quessnway to look at shoes.. unfortunately most of the shopes were closed.. sighs. so we walked over to IKEA for lunch and to window shop..
There after we took a bus down to orchard and shopped around.. from Far East to Plaza Sing and back to plaza again...lol.. Went for Pranakan dinner with my family after that..

Back at work.. things are ok i guess.. nothing really much.. the same usual lo..

k.. Valentines is just this sat.. which is 2 days away! and OMG! i got no one to spend it with lahz... KNS...I NEED A VALENTINE!!! HELP HELP HELP!!!

SAFband games day...

2009-02-06T22:11:00.005+08:00

Hey all..

almost a week since i last posted.. have been meaning to post but just lazy to get onto blogger...

ok.. this week has been average for me...with some highlights of coz..

Sunday... went with cell for dim sum buffet at some hotel.. lol.. at like so so so so so so so much..army guys can eat lor..i gave up half way.. took a photo.. but it ended up like some formal family photo..lol..

backrow: Vernon,Alexi,Me,Pierre,Dickson
Frontrow: Aaron,RenHao,Able,Joey,Jenson

i realised we(in the pic) all have english names except our leader.. lolz...

nothing much the first couple of days at work...tuesday evening went down to Marsiling band with Small Kid(Wei loong).. eh...then stayed over at WL's house..

Wednesday was SAFBand sports day... ok.. i guess it as kinda fun and a good time to mix around with the other band ppl too.. First time i saw Staff Tham dive thru the spiderweb hole.. ONz man! good job Band B for organising..

of coz i was dead beat from it all.. bu thursday came with reporting at 6am for a deployment-parade...and there after full band prac when we got back.. manz... tired sia...

ok.. things have been very luke-warm for me thies last 2 weeks bah.. manythings just seem to be hanging there and no real solution or idea to move forward...i need to get things fixed!

CHIJMES...

2009-01-31T00:32:00.003+08:00

hey all

these past 3 days have been really boring..

this was wad i did..

Wed-worke up late, stonned in front of the comp..sleep

Thurs-woke up super earli(dunno y), stonned in front of the comp, 4-6pm went to HSCband, night:stonned infront of the comp.

Fri-in front of the comp the whole day!! until!!!!

ESTHER READ MY STATUS ON FACEBOOK! WOHOO!!! F/B rocks!!

ok, so met with Esther and she had 2 other friends with her and had drinks at C.H.I.J.M.E.S...
Her friends had to leave earlier so it was both of us left..
yup.. i had a BOMBAY SAPPHIRE... haha.... yupz.. so we camwhored a little.. too..

yup me and Esther... ubber cool

ok.. thanks Esther for finally getting me out of the house today!!
remember our next meet up! haha... Polo T, Berms and flip-flops and Chinese Garden! haha...

Back from batam...

2009-01-27T21:57:00.009+08:00

Hey all!

i'm back from BATAM!... haha...

everything was ok i guess.. have been eating a lot! gosh!>..

k, some pics...

so we left on 24th Jan(sat) for a 4 day trip to Batam.. staying at harries Resort..

ok went to harbourfront terminal.. gosh the whole world was like going on some holiday.. see the line on the left, it starts from all the way back..then makes a loop to where i was standing..till the line on on right...

Welcome to batam.. mum and dad in front...

ok, Jeryl was right, i stayed in a villa(cabana) at harris Resort..

Front of the cabana

My parents took the left door while my sis, her bf and I were in the right...

ok so this is my room and facilities..

Awesome view from the balcony rite?

ok, night view of our entrance...

ok, so the afternoon we went to the main town Nagoya... a big shopping area there...\
Had lunch at Godiva coffee cafe...

then there is A&W!!! wohoo... see my waffle ice cream!!! haha..

k then after i went for a 1 1/2 hour traditional Bali massage! wohoo..

k, went to a go-kart track to race.. fun!

k, CNY eve... dinner with my family

Mum and Dad

Kim and Kenny

Family pic... with a smirk on my mum's face..lol

oh and yes! how can u not have bowling! wahaha!! i won 2 out of the 3 games lor!

Harris

Some nice view on the way back to singapore in the ferry...

ok. the trip was alright lahz.. but 4 days was enough for me.. its one of the onli trips which i found enough for my comfort.. lots to y that is/. maybe on my next post..

good to be back in Singapore... =]

I'm off!....

2009-01-23T23:59:00.001+08:00

Hey all..

in a few hours, i'll be leaving the country... yups.. finally a getaway from singapore..and my offical break since i entered army.. haha...

yupz.. so anything just tag or sms me k.. i got auto-roam! haha..

yupz./. seeya all in 4 days time!..

holiday!!...

2009-01-22T22:49:00.003+08:00

Hey all

another 2 days i am going overseas! wohoo!!. finally i get a break! havent gotten a proper break since i went into army.. Will take as many photos k!...

aiyo.. work is as usual.. i'm happy i am pushing myself to run everyday too!..

k, will update more when i know what to say!.. haha.. kinda nothing much to update too...

Dedicated to "B"...

2009-01-17T13:34:00.003+08:00

Hey all..

just pondering recently...and i came across this song in the midst of it..

i wanna dedicate this song to "B" yea u should know hu u are... i dunno but i just felt like letting u hear this song...

hmmz...i hope u could remember the good times and and what ever happens in life,there is always a smile at the end of the road k...
"B" do take care...

exercise!...

2009-01-17T08:52:00.003+08:00

hey there

here to update again..

finally finished the frigate parade yest morning...wohoo.. my first official parade...it went pretty well...just happy its over.. all the few days of waking up at 4+ to just report at 530! haha...

oh, finally got the group pic of the SAF band Peeps at the NP concert...

back row: Conrad,Lye Huat,kok wey,Daniel, Wei Shu, Faisal
Front row: Wei Loong, Jeryl, Me, Johnathan

pretty nice picture yea...those in white shirts played for the concert though..

ok.. so i got this week or so to rest again..

Chinese New Year is coming! sadly i wont be collecting as much hong pao this yr,. i'll be going overseas from next sat till tuesday..

well i'm starting to see the menotenous life at work already.. well although we do different things everyday.. but its like all similar all the way too.. hmmz... i seriously need to find something constructive to do also..

its early in the morning now and i have no idea y i had to wake up so earli!... and with a slight stiff neck also.. argh...

oh yes. i have started to exercise again.. lol.. i hope this keeps up! haha...

Super Fatique...

2009-01-14T21:05:00.002+08:00

Hey all

ok, here to update...

ok its wednesday but it feels like many days has passed le... ok, today had LIFE run in the morning.. and then! fatique kicked in!

Oh manz! its like accumluated tirdness over the last 1 week all in one! and moreover i had a headache... all i wanted to do was sleep.. so i tried my best whenever to nap at work...

Sorri to those whom i kinda 'anti-socialize' and slept instead... till now i'm still really tired.. i really need to get enough sleep lo!

so i'll be staying in tml night, so wont be around till friday evening k...

ciao!..

2 concerts...

2009-01-12T15:56:00.004+08:00

hey all...

Last few days have been really busy...

all for the highlight of 2 concerts..

So yest had Beautiful Sunday at Esplanade with SAF band...It was ok bah. not bad...at the end, We got the audience to stand and dance! wahaha...

some pics...

Muthu and i... as usual acting stupid!

Joel and I

Keng Hwee aka Kiwi and I

Batch 77!

hmmz.. we look smart eh! MUTHU's oversized blazer!

Finished at 4pm.. went back to camp to get my stuff and rushed down to Singapore Conference Hall.. Reached ther at 6.. and got ready for Ngee Ann Poly Concert where i guest played...

Some pics...

Mei Yi and I-Fellow Bassoonists

Mr Obsessed! and I haha

Fifi and I

Gregory and I

yea i was super stonned during the concert but at least its over too..I went back to camp to stay in for the night! why? coz i had to report at 630am this morning for a Parade rehearsal! wah! super super exhausted... had to stand for more than 1hr during the 2nd round rehearsal. got back after lunch.. lucky we were given off the afternoon.. phew.. so i am at home now resting... tml will be even earlier..reporting before 6! haha..

things have been going on ok so far.. i guess i have been really busy with a lot of things to really think about stuff lately... well after this friday's parade i think i will be a lot more free to settle down and start planning things for myself..

uhhuh...well im going to rest now.. update soon..

COG photos

2009-01-06T19:33:00.007+08:00

Hey all..

here are some of the pics from the COG on sunday...

Jeryl, Desmond, KokWey, Jonathan

Wonder whose smelly toy!

Cheese!

Jeryl and I

Wei loong and I

KokWey and I on serious pose

Johnathan and Jonathan!

Victor and I.

Batch 77 of Band A and I.. Click to enlarge pic

yupz.. more of the other pics on my facebook...

last 2 days have been really tiring..been busy practicing for beautiful sinday and ngee ann concert.. lips are really soft and sore le...

k... so i dont think i'll be home anytime this weekday le till the weekend.. so seeya all then!

COG Jan 09...

2009-01-04T22:38:00.003+08:00

Hey all...

ok, i think this post will be a quick one...coz i need to sleep soon and wake up earli tml..

Yest was like having band prac..got home like after 12am lor!!!...

today went to suppor the Band A COG...

took some photos with them...ok.. a bit lazy to upload now,...soon bah...

sigh,,, i think i am starting to go through the whole cycle of friendship error and neglegence again.. WHY!!!!! ok nvm... i'm still thinking about it... ppl pls dont speculate why and whom... i dont want to send wrong signals to the wrong ppl...

ok.. NEXT! seems like my blog is dying from visitation! i think i'm like the onli one who uses this... haha.. so i guess if u are reading this, u r the rare few lor... sighs...

nvm... see u all soon...

2009-01-01T17:18:00.011+08:00

Happy New Year!!!! Welcome 2009!!!

well.. its finally another year..

New Year's eve was ...er... well not what i really had in mind and expected.. but it was ok lahz..

booked out from camp in the afternoon... met up with dickson in the aftenoon.. then to town to meet Wei Loong, Jeryl and Conrad...

ok.. the whole place was super duper crowded... so dinner was tough coz everywhere was crowded... so finally we got carls Junior.. haha...final meal of the year!

ok. so we celebrated the countdown at Marina Bay.. was so crowded that we kept looking for better spots... was kinda tired walking all over though... but its ok.. finally found a spot at the esplanade drive... haha..

ok... so some pictures of before and after countdownn

Jeryl and I

Act act onli!

Slacking at Esplanade...(conrad, wei loong, me)

I AM GOING CRAZY!...

Ok, so we were wasting time in Esplanade... so we did some camera shot thingy of different expressions.. here is one of it... More of where that came from..haha..

Now, Conrad wanted to take some multi shot of me doing a series of actions... unfortunately, the onli pic which came out was this super gay one of mine! argh!!!... Cameras know how to get the most unwanted shots dont they!...

Waiting for countdown at Esplanade Drive

It was so hard for me to get a proper pic with this small kid.. he kept making faces!

Last moments of 2008

k, after countdown we walked to dhouby Ghaut... settled for starbucks to sit... lol.. Small kid was totally zonked out!

Ok.. so have a good year ahead!

yes, and i hope my blog will have a whole good year of fun and exciting posts!!!...

Fat!...

2008-12-26T22:59:00.003+08:00

Hey all...

Chirstmas yest was ok..

Went for lunch with my family to SwissO'tel...then to my grandma's for tea... then to My grant Aunt's for dinner.. lols... too much eating!!!

some pics...

Sis, Dad, glowing tree, Mum, me, Grandma

this pic makes me look fat sia.. ghaha..

hmm..so i slept at 2.30am, and woke up at 4.45 to go to camp...i was like a zombified zombie!! haha.. i took a nap during my 2 hour lunch in my bunk! that was awesome!!! but not enough...

oks, so tml i'm having an open house for christmas at my place... hope everything will be ok and fun!...

Merry Christmas!...

2008-12-25T10:57:00.003+08:00

Hey all!!!...

MErry Christmas...

ok, this week i LOST MY HANDPHONE in the taxi!!!... SO PLS SMS ME UR NUMBERS K!!!..number is still the same..

k last night had a christmas dinner at my place...

some pictures...
ok my photography sucks.. but its ok!.. haha

today will be going for christmas lunch as always... going to swiss o'tel.. then to my grandma's house.. then to my grant aunts place...going to do a lot of eating manz!!! haha....

seeya all soon!...

blah...

2008-12-20T23:24:00.002+08:00

Hey all

its abeen a while...

ok, the week was ok bah.. i was quite busy at camp... ok somewhat busy.. haha.. had a few performances.. nothing really much though... but have been really tired too..

so these coming two weeks will be really borin weeks lah! haha...so i seriously need to find things to do lor!... of coz with the exception on christmas and new yr...

k... i'm kinda tired.. so will update another time! see ya!...

i'm just crapping something to write...

2008-12-14T00:26:00.003+08:00

Hey all

nothing really much really happened today.. so not going to blog much about it..

ok. so i was looking for a picture to post up.. but i cant find any nice ones... that means i have to start taking more pics!!!

ok.. christmas and new yr's is coming really soon.. and i need to start planning things for myself for the new yr ahead...lots which i have planned and not achieved in my current yr's resolution...and lots of new plans too...

k, i'll spare the details of what that is for now, i'll wait for the new yr to come and i'll share more abt it...

its the 14th of dec.. haha.1 yr ago, i was on my way to INDIA...nice holiday that was..sigh.. this dec is back in spore...sigh.. i need another overseas break soon manz!!! argh!!..

k.. i'll try to update something tml with more contents...

exhausted...

2008-12-12T21:37:00.002+08:00

Hey all

I'm back home today...really tired and exhausted today.. wonder y sia..

ok.. so actually nothing much this week. I dint really get a chance to spend time with my batch mates... everyone is so busy with their own band stuff and deployments, including me... and everything ends really late.. sigh..

Band A and B are one block off from yesterday till end next week.. and that means its going to be a really quite week for me.. though i still have my own band batch mates, but most of the others are not around...argh!!!!...

ok.i'm kinda zonked out now.. not sure what to blog about... its been an emotionally and metally strenuous week for me! update tml bah...

gave in to shopping...

2008-12-08T19:20:00.002+08:00

Hey all..

as i said, i'll blog again... k.. so got back not too long ago...afternoon with my family..Went to Tamp mall and CS for lunch and to walk around...parents was looking at Plasma tv to buy lo.. might either be getting a 42" or 47" one... not sure...

ok...so i'm gonna be stuck in camp for another 4 nights.. ok.. i can come out of camp lahz.. but i wont be home.. means away from my comp.. sighs..how i wish i had a comp of my own in camp..

ok. so i tried to restrain from buying anything when i went out... i did until!!! ahaha.. i bought a small music pouch.. haha... sorri lah.. just had to give in...

ok..lots have been running through my mind today too... sometimes it gets kinda overwhelming too.. argh... must control my thoughts! family, friends, love life, work, personal life... haiz..

k.. gotta go le.. seeya!!

another wedding...

2008-12-08T11:36:00.003+08:00

Hi all

i just got up around half an hour ago! haha.. and when i woke up.. i thought it was 7am onli...to onli realise its 11! its raining outside, dark clouds.. awesome day to snuggle in..

alrights.. so went for Eric's and Sally's wedding last night...At Sentosa Amara. was ok...they took some pics..

These are some totally unglam pics of me...

Sis and I

Freaking look wierd rite... the bottom part of my face looks like its sagging down.. gosh i look like some PUG! and my hair now looks like horns! ANGLE ALL WRONG!!

with my family

i dunno what to say abt this one.. just unglam la...haiyo.. MR photographer, i would take using better angles!anything from lower then the chin makes ppl look wierd and FAT!... my dad even looks different here.. like totally unprepared! haha.

ok.. nth much to say now though... maybe update later.. seeya...

I bought Jeans!...

2008-12-07T13:10:00.002+08:00

Hey all

The weekend has been alright so far. Suddenly i have been getting ppl coming up to me to start sharing stuff with me even indirectly... quite heartening...
Late morning, went out with my family to do some christmas shopping to prepare for my coming parties... went to order the turkey and ham... then went to the 3 warehouse stores, Giant, Courts and Ikea to buy stuff for home.

I then bought a new mair of JEANS! haha.. ok.. it was out of impulse although i dint need it.. retail therapy! haha..

anyways... Something spoke to me yesterday when Renee was taking about something...got me thinking about some stuff.. and soon when Joy shared with the cell about insercurities, i was humbled and really started thinking within myself.. (ok i know i'm being really vague here, something personal for myself)...

yah.. i know things are going to look up.. slowly but surely yea..

was talking to a friend yest till lateand i slept at 3am! and i got up at 8 today.. went to my Bassoon Tutor's home to collect my reeds! ah!! i am so exhausted!

Evening, going for Eric's wedding in sentosa... should be nice...

I'm so Happy tml is a holiday! i need a break manz!!!!...

christmas is coming really soon! lots to do at home, work, myself, friends and blah blah blah... Chiong!!!...(random!)

I'm Sorry...

2008-12-06T00:21:00.002+08:00

Hey all

I messed up manz...This week as been a bit awkward for me bah...been a little emo.. okok.. a whole lot emo.. my buds whom have been talking to me know what i mean. I'm still in the process of thinking what i should do since last sunday... hmmz...

TO THE ONE I CONFESSED MY FEELINGS TO(I HOPE U READ THIS):
I'm sorry. I honestly dont know why i am apologising. But i am sorri if i did something which made it all messed up like this now. I guess what i did last week has happened, and we cant change that anymore. I dint know what i really expected out of my confession to u... i just needed to let it out to u. and now i know that its impossible for us to be together, thats all right, really i understand where u are coming from. On my part i know i have to forget and throw all these feelings for u away. But i dont want us to lose our friendship ever.

I just feel that its just something i'm willing to put aside so that we can still keep that friendship we had from before. I really hope u understand too. I really hope we can be friends again. i know we can work it out. Pls talk to me again...hope we can talk about it pls...
-------------------------------------------------------

ok, so this week has been my first official compulsory 1 month stay in camp.. so far alright bah.. at least i can go out after work and be back by 2359h. This week as been kinda hectic with all my morning and afternoon slots all taken up for deployment or full band pracs.Hardly had anytime to spend with my batch mates from the other bands.

today i ended really late.. reached home almost midnight.. my these 2 fridays burned coz of dine-ins... i hope things will pace out better soon....

ok.. i'm kinda tired,. so will blog tml..

b4 i end.. thanks to those who have been encouraging me this past week. I may seem like i am not 'improving in state' but i really appreciate ur care..
Special thanks to Jeryl for really listening me out.. Wei Loong(small kid) too!!
Wei shu who indirectly also tried to get me out of it.. haha...

I GIVE UP!...

2008-11-30T02:29:00.007+08:00

hey all,

ok, its 2+am on a sat night and i cant sleep...

'u' finally found out my feelings this evening...and of coz it feels kinda awkward now.

i dont blame you 'u' for anything. really. its not your fault coz all this while i have been keeping it to myself. and furthermore, u have ur own rights to like who u want to like.

ah! darn... what have i done!? it makes things a lot messier now manz... everything seems so strange and now 'u' is going to treat me differently and feel awkward being around me. shit manz...

i kinda knew something like this was going to happen, coz it usually does. But i dint want to lie to you and myself to make things more suspended. and yes, it has finally happened.

I hearby declare myself a total idiot.

ok.. so from now on, i am going to GIVE UP on all this rubbish. yes! love, romance, relationships, mutual attraction. its all fake and DOES NOT EXSIST! at least not in my life. I'm sorri to all those whom i'ved scared by telling u my feelings coz i know my standards of ppl are high, but i have not taken a good look at the mirror myself.

if the right one comes then fine.. but i've had it with trying to fall of anyone anymore. its been TOO LONG and painful over numerous occasions of having to face this time and time again. i will have to force myself to shut my eyes from now on. why, coz i just end up going to a state where i am just kinda usless (which honestly i am) when i reveal my feelings.

yes. so i am in this state officially. it sucks. if u wanna encourage me, pls do it tactfully, of coz if anyone bothers in the first place.. considering if anyone actually reads my posts nowadays also...

k, i better stop now b4 i end up cursing myself even more. =[

SAF band concert. In Harmony 24

2008-11-30T00:45:00.003+08:00

hey all..

i found this somewhere...its sips of the SAF band concert... enjoy...

http://www.razor.tv/site/servlet/segment/main/lifestyle/14730.html

http://www.razor.tv/site/servlet/segment/main/lifestyle/14738.html

http://www.razor.tv/site/servlet/segment/main/lifestyle/14736.html

http://www.razor.tv/site/servlet/segment/main/lifestyle/14740.html

have i lost u?...

2008-11-29T00:29:00.006+08:00

Hey all...

sighs...

Have i lost 'u'? I think i have.

I have been contemplating too much..taken too long and now u seem like u r fading away. And soon ur attention maybe elsewhere.

DOnt get me wrong, i am not suggesting anything.

i dont know.. lately i realised u have been getting further away. and i must admit that our distance away so far does make the heart grow fonder.
But it also means that u are more vunerable to being stolen faster.

i may be thinking too much, but i just feel like we are not communicating as much lately too. dont know why but i have a feeling u kinda know my feelings for u already? and u feel awkward too?(likely bcoz u dint expect it and dont share the same for me).. well this is kind sad and bad too..if u already know that i like u, pls do come and talk to me about it k.. ust be brave and tell me u know.. at least i am not trying to force something on myself for the wrong reasons. i really hope nothing will stainour friendship.

oh wells.. i cant just 'not like u' just like that. I'm not fully certain about why the distance between us, and i do hope it does improve. I dont want u to fade away from me.. i'm starting to fall for u more and more, how do i let something being drawn in my heart be erased like that?

Thanks to those who advised me on what to do. although its just Small kid(wei loong) and jeryl. but sadly i have put ur advise to vain.

ok, i am also starting to feel a little distant from my batch people. i really dont know why this is happening.. maybe coz we are not spending time during the day when we are in our different bands. sigh, losing frens again.. i dont want to face the whole drama about short term frens(read my older post to find out why i hate this!)

i really hope that our bond will be just as united as it was b4. i mean i dont want us to split up and feel like we had a relationship b4 and now when we all see each other, its going to be a mere "hello" only.

I know that this is nothing new to many of u(if there any in the first place) about being alone and stuff.. but the whole feeling just kind of suck.it really does. How do u put a facade outside all the time to show that nothing is wrong? it gets tiring and just wish that things were just better the way u want it..
Why cant my relationship life be better? Am i jinxed in both 'love' and frens? or am i doing something wrong all the time?

if anyone wants to comment or advice, pls do so, i do tresure advice. especially when life just seems a little blur all the time...

wheres my heart?...

2008-11-22T23:57:00.005+08:00

Hey all,

i was meaning to write here this afternoon again.. but i was out.. so nvm.. i shall do it now...
This post is not hinting on anything.. just a mere place for me to voice my thoughts out.

ok...so my feelings lately.. hmmz...i currently dont know where my heart is lately...i've been so busy with my music exams and concert. Been distracted a lot.

but of coz there is this infatuated side of me with 'u' slowly being engraved in. i dare say that its not like other puppy love kinds where i 'fall in love' so fast and it usually is quite ridiculous.

I not really sure how to put it bah...really mixed feelings.. i dont mean that i have mixed feelings about liking 'u'. its just that.. one one side, i'm kinda anxious and with this restless feeling, just waiting to explore more than just having this as a one sided affair.

But on the other hand, i'm thinking, whats the point.. am i going to be rejected again like the many others. is it worth it?

If i do express it to 'u',

result:
1.we live happily ever after
conculsion: =]
2.'u' reject me and imagined nth ever happened
conculsion: well i'll try harder? haha kidding.. but better than nothing.
3.'u' reject me and our normal friendship suffers coz likely u will avoid me making everything awkward.
conculsion: i'll be totally heart broken and likely also blame myself for ruining everything.

is it realy worth it? So will say just go and ask, u never know if it maybe a plus. But i really think that the thing that stinks is when u start to like a friend. coz things can turn out nasty and u end up losing a good friendship in the end..

another thought..I want to be loved and accepted for who i am... Sadly i think most ppl do go for the standards of looks and stuff.. yes i am guilty at that at times too. but i wish that ppl would also love and accept me for my looks and flaws. taking me as a whole for who i am, my strengths and weaknesses.
I think its important for ppl who are considering relationships or are in one to have lots of accomdate to each other's weaknesses and love them through it. of coz we can help each other to improve ourselves. but really enjoying every moment even if we are not perfect.

when will i ever get the chance to say that i care and want to be part of ur life. Am i ready to take the risk just for my feelings (of coz 'u' will be happy too) or just stay silent suffering inside so that we can stay cordial.

HOW!!!!

pls... ppl do comment or write on my tag board! who knows, u may even be the one i am talking about! and no, pls do not beg for the person's name.. i need advice!!

Shokudo

2008-11-22T14:42:00.003+08:00

Hey all,

Thursday, had my day off... afternoon went with Mdm Zaibon to do the SYF rehersal balloting for secondary schools... oh manz.. it was a long a boring afternoon...after that Got treated to starbucks for coffee.. Thanks mdm Zaibon.. lolz..

ok, so suppose to go to Ngee Ann Poly band. Conrad has been asking me to play with them for their concert... So i went to Clementi mrt at 6... and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited.. finally at 7.30... Conrad picked me up.with weishu, lye huat and kokwey...

ok.. band was interesting.. haha.. those who went would know what i meant... haha.. and i forced conrad to send me home! haha...

ok.. friday, nothing much at work... went to play table tennis with my batch band B&C...

evening.. met with some my band batch guys for dinner(lye huat, weishu, daniel, jeryl, wei loong, victor, conrad, kokwey)... Went to Shokudo Japanese restaurant at Raffles City.. crowded manz.. then adjourned to Starbucks where Daniel treated us to coffee!

so nothing much lately bah... still in a daze and sleepy mood.. yawns...

Central band concert...

2008-11-20T09:39:00.005+08:00

Hey all

SAF Band Concert is finally over! hahas.... it was fun.. but i'm totally dead beat now! wahah!!

At least i managed through my solos! lolz...i Tried my best for it!....

some photos!...

Me with Colonel Colburn (The president's own, US marines Band)

With my Double Reeds SL-Liang You

and my irritating Bassoon mate Muthu..

overall, everything went ok bah...happy i have an off today.. so i'm just going to do what i want later... sigh, came down with cough and lots of phlegm....

THANKS TO ALL WHO CAME FOR THE CONCERT LAST NIGHT!!! ESPECIALLY MY BATCH 77 mATES!!! SO NICE TO SEE U SITTING BEHIND ME!!! (except lyehuat who went to see muthu's out of tune notes.. haha...like Woo-oh!) JUST SO SAD WE DINT GET A CHANCE TO TAKE PICTURE!!!! NEXT TIME BAH!!! haha..

training wing - Batch 77

2008-11-17T22:13:00.004+08:00

Hey all

I finally passed out from Training Wing...Received my Cert of completion and Overall Merit in my Exams... haha.. i was hoping for a distinction.. short of a little.. but oh wells.. it doesnt matter... as long i made it though it all...

So today seemed a little strange in atmosphere within the batch.. at least thats how i felt. Today seemed like a much quieter day... and a lot of strange emotions towards each other.. hmmz... or maybe i'm jsut thinking too much..

yupz... so we have all been given out band postings le... Got into Central band... Quite ironic when actually i've already been pulled in there to play for the coming concert.

Well, i'm having a lot of luke-warm feelings and emotions now about coming out from training wing... hmmz.. not very sure i'f i am as excited to go in my band as much as before...

I kinda enjoyed the time in TW. (being bullied and being called "bassoon" as well!)

Well 5 of us will be in Central band.. 7 in Band A and 4 in Band B.... haiz.. all split up... sad liaoz.. sobs sobs....

PLS remember me hor!!!(and lye huat go "huh! WoOOO") i really hope that despite being all split up, out batch will still be really close yea..

Ok, Jeryl did this on his blog.. so i'm going to do it...

Yes our photo!..

this is currently the onli one where the whole batch is there...

I'm going to miss u guys.. especially those who really stuck with me and 'bitched' with me also..

Concert is in 2 days! ah!!! tml i'll be like totally busy lahz... practice is from morning till night!!! rehearsal at esplanade tml night... full full day!!!

alrights, thats all for now... I'm going to miss u Batch 77!!! yes we must still stick together and stay close though we are in different bands!

Jon is going to dance for graduation...

2008-11-15T12:01:00.005+08:00

Hey all..

Wow i honestly dint realise i dint blog for 1 whole week.. haha

This week has been busy.. real busy...

My graduation from training wing has been postponed to monday instead.. that means another 1 more day in No. 4 uniform. sianz.... Well i really hope the graduation plan goes well...AH!! victor is not going to be there! ENJOY UR CRUISE!!! haha

So this week as been really busy... I really wanted to be as involved in the graduation prep as much as i can. But i aslo had to go for full band practice. So i had to go for crash course sessions to learn my dance stuff! haha...

Yest evening, went for Johnathan's concert at tp. Went with my army batch mates. Some came over to shower first b4 going...

some pics...

So some of my batch mates (frm left: KokWey, WeiLung, LyeHuat, Johnathan, Me, Wei Loong, Jeryl)

Met my Hai Sing Alumni peeps there too (clockwise: Me, Isaac, Li Hong, WeiJie, ManNing, Mei Juan, Razanah, Zhuang Shu)

yupz.. so we went to a nearby macs for dinner after the concert. super super hungry.. Like what lyeHuat would say, SUPRA hungry.. haha...yea nice evening altogether, sat there talking till 2am..

Really having fun with my batch mates.. most of them are kinda cool lahz.. haha...

alrights.. will update soon! seeya all!...

2 days to exam...

2008-11-08T22:37:00.003+08:00

Hey all

Went for NCO POP yesterday at CCAB... was alright... mEt with a few of my sec sch batch mates..ManNing, Wei Jie and Chelsea..oh, and Chelsea's mum.... Went for dinner at Pasir Ris central... THANK U ANUTY FOR THE DINNER!!!! (CHEL, better tell ur mum for me hor!)

Today, i was like practically out the whole day... went to khim and terrence house for their baby;s 1 month.. sighs.. got back at 7.15 and started on my bassoon!
Monday is exams and i am so not ready lahz... My scales are not done yet summore!

Tml is full force!! the whole afternoon for my Bassoon!

Ok, so this next 2 weeks will be a nevry very very tiring 2 weeks for me... haha... i can foresee that... coz.. this week.. i'm suppose to be preparing for my graduation presentation and performance which is on friday... BUT!!!! Monday - Thursday, i have full band practice from morning till book out... so lots lots to do... and concert is in 11 days!

The US Marines band people will be coming on Wed.. should be fun... onli hope i can get my pieces done by then! haha...Stress! wootS!

ok... so i realised my friends have not been blogging a lot also.. All my precious contacts whom i linked are not regularly blogging lahz!! PPL!!! PLS Blog.. so when i am having a break(which is my onli free times) i can be entertained by ur blogs!!!
haha...

k.. thats for now... seeya!...

White house no water!...

2008-11-06T20:39:00.002+08:00

Hey all

My week so far has been ok i guess...

Monday- hmmz..this was a very interesting day! haha... we had Aural lesson in the morning...drills.... BUT the white house(my band building on top of a hill) had a water problem from morning. And it seems it was kinda serious not having water in the water coolers and toilets...SO, we were allowed to leave camp! wohoo!!!!
So i decided to visit my grandma in Yishun... haha.. spents the afternoon with her a bit then went for dinner at NorthPoint...

Tuesday- Morning had an Aural mock test. then from 10+am - 430pm I was down with Central band for practice.. so happy we dint go through Symphonic Dances..i'm like dying with that song! long day!

Wednesday- Ooo morning went through Drill lesson...was a really really really really hot morning! my t shit was like drenched!!!! ok, so after lunch, AURAL TEST!!! Cpt Yusri was our examiner. Went ok i guess.. There after, we had to do some planning for my batch graduation...

Today- morning was a mock drill test. Gosh, i have to play the cymbals lah! and i am a Bassoonist lor! according to my friends, i was like practically playing of beast throughout! haiz...how!!! anyways i scored 22.5/30 (20 to pass) for the drill test... made one drill mistake onli... k, then we had our NO.3 uniform inspection.. Afternoon was full band with Cpt Tan..
After Band, MSG Hassan suddenly came in and us the 3 trainees to pack up and go for taloring for concert shirt... wow... rushed down tot this ulu place in Tiong Bahru...

oh wells... i'm starting to feel kinda drained! i honestly cant wait for the coming concert on the 19th to end... so many things happening at the same time.. Yest aural test, Drill test tml having to play symbals for 2 times onli!, Practical test on monday, US marines Masterclasses next week, preparing for gradation next friday, Concert on the 19th.. ah!!!

Hopefully everything will be a lot more at pace after the concert too!!!
kk.. update soon!!!

Argh, so many things at once!...

2008-11-02T10:13:00.004+08:00

Hey all

I'm getting a little stressed, agitated, tired, restless and sometimes PMS and emo lately..

I'm kinda feeling a little overwhelmed with some things.. both in work and outside..

Concert is coming up in 17 days and i am not prepared yet, lots of parts not settled and i am really scared i screw this first concert up.
My practical exam is in 1 week time and i have not fully completed my 3 songs and not memorized my scales yet..there just seem to be no time for a full proper practice.
Aural test should be soon and i am still rather hanging on my standard.
I am totally clueless on some parts of my drill test.
Planning for alumni is also stressful with the focus u need to give and set.
my weekends seem to revolve around me(which i should sometimes coz i need time to myself) and i seem to struggle having time to go for cell and to go for meetings.

I'm trying to stay positive and happy but its rather hard at times. sadly i go into this emo state again. trying to please friends, sure i dont mind. but sometime i wish they would do things for me too. Friendship works both ways rite? Oh wells.. maybe i'm just in my 'depressed' mode again. darn...

ok.. enough for this...

I LOST MY WATCH ON THURSDAY!!!
AHH!!! my beloved DF collection watch! i though i put it into my bag before leaving camp on thursday and i just cant seem to find it. went back on friday and its nowhere to be found! Sobs Sob!

On a lighter note, i finally bought myself a Digicam! wohoo! FUjiFilm Z100... really sleak and stylo manz!this is how it looks..I got it in black and sliver! wohoo!!

http://www.fujifilm.com/products/digital_cameras/z/finepix_z100fd/index.html

Yea.. oh had a surprise party at Renhao's place for his birthday yesterday evening too.. wohoo! fun playing Taboo and Bear & hunter.. haha. i was a really sucessful bear! hahah..

Group picture!

alrights!, will update sooN! seeya!

Emo post...

2008-10-29T20:25:00.002+08:00

Hey all

THe last few days have been somewhat fast moving.. yet really tiring...

Have been going on lots of Dewali visitations over the weekend! gosh the amount of food i have been eating lo...
And yes i feel fat... i put on i think 2 kg...

unfortunately it shows in my waist... darn..

These last 2 days at work has been really really tiring though... drills in the mornings...my body is kinda aching.. but its well worth i guess...

TOday was kinda an EMO day..SO I AM WRITING AN EMO POST! well somewhat onli lahz... i was like zombie-fied and kena suaned being fat.. haiz...Well Mr Jeryl Cheng banned me from the 2 breaks from eating anything and i had to lessen my lunch portions...i was darn darn hungry lahz...Well, i should not complain too much coz i know its for my own good also...i need to lose weight too...So guys, if u are reading this, i appreciate it although i may respond irritatingly...(minus the suaning from u guys of coz)...

I need to lose weigth!...

2008-10-26T21:50:00.002+08:00

Hey all..

gosh this week has been really short! haha
as u all know, i was having high fever over the last weekend... it carried on this monday.. so i was on MC on monday and tuesday...
Went back to work on wed... 2 and a half days onli! wow! friday was kinda cool coz it was ippt in the morning and deeparaya celebration in SAF band...really funny performances.. haha...

there after a group of us went out to hang... (lye huat, weishu, jeryl, victor, wei loong, wei lung, clement, keng hwee).. went to plaza singapura first then after to marina square... Dinner at Waraku.. which was nice.. and then 5 of us hanged at Esplanade to watch some outdoor performance and CHOCOLATE FONDU at Haagen Dazs! nice evening altogether.,.haha..

gosh.. just becoz i put something on my blog and on msn... my whole band batch is hunting me down for the person i like! aiyo! y hunting me manz? ask other ppl who they like also lo! haha.. i'll tell u all soon lahz.. chill k! haha...
(MANZ! by saying this, i'll be really heckled by them this tuesday when i go back to work manz! they will be squeezing me tight till i revergitate my secret!) haha...

ok, so i hope i get more exercise soon lo.. i seriously and desperatly need to lose more weight lo...i am not losing any weight lor.. and i am sick of being FAT!!!! yes, even if i dont look really fat,.. I AM! i need to lose a little more weight so i can fit better in some clothes lo... manz! PPl, push me to exercise more and eat healthy!

my dear, where are you?

2008-10-20T15:55:00.005+08:00

I sit here alone
Every evening;
Watching the sunset
As my days become night.

Where are you?

Do show me that you are there;
Or at least you subsist;
C'ause I've got this feeling
Waiting to share it with you.

When do we belong together?

Somewhere out there
Beneath the pale moonlight;
I hope you feel the same
For I do.

38.9 degrees!...

2008-10-19T08:55:00.002+08:00

Hey all

Begining of the week was alright for me. Normal stuff, IP sessions, Theory, Full Band Prac, PT..

Thursday came and i had a very bad headache.. gosh... and guess what that afternoon, it was my Practical assessment! lucky it went ok.. no bad comments...

I went home and slept straight away!

Friday was no better.. the headache came a little milder but it was kinda irritating nevertheless. After lunch, i felt like i was going to come down with a fever, well it had to rain like crazy that afternoon also...

Well after work, some of the guys and I decided to go out (Lye Huat, Johnathan, wei shu, keng hwee, wei loong, jeryl)...

Wanted to visit Accent Music.. and we found it closed darn.. later we found that it was the wrong shop we found info from... lolz...oh wells... we headed to Holland Village for dinner.. Settled for Breckos to eat. was a really nice evening altogether.

When i got home... i was kinda sick le... kept waking up every few mins that night.. Temperature went up to 38.9 degrees...Went to the doc in the morning...

ok, so the last few weeks have been ok in band for me.. lots of stressful times too... lots of emotions within me too..

haha... tell u secret... well its not a secret since i'm telling u now... i wonder if love is in the air.. haha... well i think its one sided for now.. not until i garner my courage to ask or at least confess my feelings for the person.. lolz... SHH!!!

woosh.. stressed!...

2008-10-11T09:48:00.002+08:00

Hey all

Its been another week...

A real stressful one too..

lots to do this week in camp. Finally played with the band, in prep for the concert up next month. Gosh lots to practice and do. Not to mention the pieces i have for exam.

I really kinda happy that my batch of guys are really easy to get along too...Yea let work hard for our exams yea..

k, so this weekend will definitely be spent on practicing my bassson manz! monday is my first practical assesment...

Janan's

2008-10-04T08:02:00.005+08:00

Hey all..

I forgot to post the pictures of our weekend gathering during my block leave. Had dinner- steamboat at Janan's...

Taufiq, Kok Hau and myself

With Daniel my BMT buddy!

Good friends yea..

Kok Hau was posted as a dentist assistant.. sadly i was his first patient

Then after, he tried to kill me!

With Hardi.. a game of table tennis

The weekend is here!

2008-10-03T19:07:00.002+08:00

Hey alL!

HAvent been posting the last few days...

THe begining of the week was pretty fine... Was really happy to have a day off on Wed... Wed evening had a Wedding anniversary dinner to attend... so by the time i got back, it was MORNING! and of coz i was ZOMBIFIED in the morning when going back to camp...

K, This whole week was really IP (individual Practice) sessions.. not much for me to do yet also... Oh yea, a new guy Kok Wey joined us in the training wing... Real nice Chap... WECOME TO BATCH 77! haha...

YAY! and the weekend is here! wohoo... Lots to do as well... Hari Raya visitation... And sunday gotta be in Town to observe the Change of Guards at the Istana...

week ending...

2008-09-28T22:38:00.002+08:00

Hey all...

The weekend is coming to an end again...sighs...

Well Friday met up with some of my BMT sect friends for dinner... Taufiq, JingHui, janan... met at Holland Village....At at Swensens and then at some Ice cream palor... nice evening altogether...

ok.. so i hope i get my scores for my bassoon exam tml so i can start practicing soon...
So happy there is going to be a public holiday this coming week too!! haha...

Seeya all!

4 days in the SAF band

2008-09-25T21:44:00.002+08:00

Hey all!

Its been 4 days in my new unit... YES i am in the SAF BANDS! wohoo!!

ok, 4 days is really enough to have a big impression out this particular unit...

Its tough! tiring! and stressful!

"really meh?" is what most of u might me thinking... well it is until u get there... well thats my personal feel... BUT! I am really happy i am in there though...

Yea... currently in the training wing for 8 weeks... my batch mates are all nice guys... Lets just say So Far So Good...

onli probs i have is getting there.. gosh... i leave my house at 530am manz! and i get home at 730... thats like rushing back itself lor... so my evenings are really to rest and dinner!

Ok, i kinda cant wait for the weekend to come too...
Update soon!

SAF BAND! here i come

2008-09-22T20:42:00.003+08:00

Hey all!

Guess what! I got into SAF bands! wohoo!!!

yea posting came out on friday.. and yes i am sorri i dint blog then.. y? coz i went cycling with wei jie, chelsea and man ning.. haha..

this is what we did..

met at wei jie's place in pasir ris at 8.30am..and chelsea was late! cycled to tampines, passing tamp north pri then sunplaza park.. and towards TP... corssed over to bedok Res...went into bedok and got to Upper east coast road and to VJC and finally ened our trip at ECP macdonals..

2 hours!

well brunch at macs.. we finally got there.. we had to get back! haha.. but different route... through tenah merah and then to simei and tamp.. then home...

Evening was at Janan's place with my section 3 mates.. was nice...

k.. today band... was ok.. reached too early! 7.30 when it started after 8am... nvms... was ok i guess... started to have a bad headache in the later part of the day...

Hope for a lot better days to come!

Platoon 4 BBQ

2008-09-15T12:10:00.006+08:00

Ello all!!

my 12 days of freedom is going on well...

well..highlights so far...

Thursday had a platoon bq at east coast park.. went very well.. here are some pics...

Some of my section niggers!
Janan, Taufiq, Daniel

Group pic!

Daniel my army buddy

Jing hui my 'side-bed' buddy

Henry our toilet i/c....

SECTION 3 & commanders!!! minus a few ppl (click to enlarge)

You guys were a great bunch of bunk mates!

group pic!

Platoon 4!

yea so that was some of it..real good time...

friday went out with my relatives and family to clerk quay for drinks and stuff... nice evening...

so it will be exactlly 1 more week b4 i go back to camp... posting will be out this friday.. keeping my fingers crossed!

Private!

2008-09-09T17:44:00.003+08:00

Hey all!

I have officially Passed out from BMT!! wohoo!!! the last 2 months have been a real something!

Rec Jonathan Oh is now officially Pte Jonathan Oh....haha

Apart from the trainings, i think i really treasure the ppl i met there... especially my platoon mates.

Platoon 4!

Special thanks to my buddy Daniel and my other bed buddy Jing Hui...You guys were great throughout.. we stuck together and stuff... and u both also took care of me when i was really really sick during one of the weeks...

this thursday bbq should be good bah... really looking forward to it too... its gonna be the last time we all see each other...

(Go) Ulysses, Ulysses, Ulysses,Ulysses,Ulysses, we are the best, we are the champions, we will always be the one!

BMT is ending...

2008-09-05T21:27:00.004+08:00

HELLO ALL!!!!

MISSED ME!?!?!?!

ok, i dint get to book out last weekend coz i had a rifle range course. well seem like the 2 weeks passed really quickly manz...
Well this weekend is kinda a short weekend, gotta book-in ok sunday at 3pm! SO EARLY!

Well its ok. I am going to officially pass out from BMT on tuesday! Fast yea?!?! 7 weeks just came and gone like that!
Thereafter i will wait for my new posting to a specific vocation. so in the meantime after tues, i have 12 days of free time! wohoo!! means if anyone of u want to date me... this is ur chance! haha..
kidding lahz... i'll be free during this time, so jio me out for a meal or hangout k!

camp has been good the last few weeks... my bunk mates are not bad.some good frens too. occasional blunders here and there, but ot bad lahz.. at least we all can get along well together... gonna miss the time together after passing out...

2weeks more!

2008-08-24T09:23:00.002+08:00

Hey all!

its been 1 week since my last post..

Nothing much in army lately....just kinda tired most of the time

well, i'll be confined in camp next weekend due to live range.. 2 weeks and 2 days to Passing Out of BMT... cant wait!!! wohoo...

BOOKOUT!

2008-08-08T14:05:00.002+08:00

HELLO ALL!!!!

I am out from my confinment! and just nice, its my 200th post!!!!

army... haha.. lots about it,...

so far ok lahz... some days are siong, some days are a bit relaxed...some of the guys there are pretty nice.. some a little stuck up. but so far my 2 weeks is quite a fulfillment... so happy i am out today! haha..

i really dont know what to really talk about also.. haha..

just that i am now botak, haha... ok.. i am so going to enjoy my bookout time to the fullest!!!

Farwell all

2008-07-24T23:39:00.003+08:00

hey all...

ok..thelast post was not my last post...this is...

k, i am moments away from army le..

this week has been a real busy week for me... with lots of lunches and dinners...

Monday- uncle(lunch Vivo city), Grandma(dinner North point)
Tuesday- Luke(lunch bugis), myself(dinner home)
Wednesday- Charmaine(brunch tapao-ed downtown east), Jonathan GOh(Dinner billibombers)
Thursday- Ren Hao(Lunch Fish& CO.), Dickson(Dinner swensens earl)

super super super full!!

thank u all for the meals and company...

so now i bid farewell for the next 2 weeks! will see u all on National day when i officially book out of tekong for the first time...

Bye!

2008-07-24T08:48:00.002+08:00

Hey all

1 DAY LEFT!!!

so so so so so so so so so so fast!!!
i am 97% packed!

haha.. what is the other 3%? well... i havent bought my shaving gel, goggles, and of coz my toothbrush(which i still need duh...)1% for each....

my bag is so big lahz... sure look like idiot when going in...

its 9 am.. i am feeling so sleepy.. GOd help we wake up on time in the army...going to meet Ren Hao for lunch at Tampines... then dinner at the airport with dickson...

i super need to sleep earli today manz..

thinking abt it, this may be my very last post b4 i enlist... gosh, i sound like i am going to die.. eh. i'm not! but that means i am not going to blog for a while though... yupz!

just some entertainment

BROKE!

2008-07-23T22:01:00.002+08:00

Hey all

I am officially broke now..
ok, lucky i am going to army on friday, dont have to worri so muchabt spending..BUT! i still have 2 meal appointments tml which i cant afford.. coz i am 100% broke... sighs

ok, i have started packing for army le.. darn! so many things to bring lahz...like going for holiday like that..lol..

2 days to enlistment

2008-07-23T09:46:00.002+08:00

hey all

Its wednesday...and 2 more days till enlistment..

Monday, met my aussi uncle.. had lunch at Vivo then walked around...i finally bought my mixed pair slipers which i was planning to buy like a few years ago.. haha..
Then we both popped by my grandma's house.. she's not well also..
Went to delifrance at North Point for dinner.
Sighs, i had another attack of the nose again.. bad headache again...army coming so soon, i really hope it doesnt happen in there...

Tuesday, Morning, met with luke, one of Esther's friends who is enlisting on friday as well. Went to beach road to get final stuff for army. YAY! i got a new watch from Bugis village! haha..Went to hai sing after that. Said my "last goodbyes" to everyone..

k, today, meeting Charmaine in about an hour's time... and dinner tonight with Jonathan Goh at airport....

2 DAYS! gosh so fast manz...

I'm Back!

2008-07-20T19:20:00.005+08:00

HEY ALL!

YES I AM BACK!!

wohoo!

I have been alright! really cool trip!...

and guess what left with 5 days till enlistment! gosh!

haha.. some pictures i took along the way!

Sis and I - Cheers

What!? i was really hungry lor!

Nicolaus, Me, Kim, Prisca

The 2 Studs

ok...

so the week b4 we had a Nubian Gents event... so some random pics from it..

All the Shui Ge-S and Chio Bu-S!
Vera, me, Teng Hua, Christabel, Joy, Cavell

The Spastic 3...

Teng Hua! whats with the look!?

eh?

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil

Cool eh!haha...
This week is gonna be a busy week manz! haha.. kinda getting excited abt army.. a little nervous too! haha..

congrats NYPWO, JIA YOU other bands!

2008-07-11T21:22:00.002+08:00

Hey all

Haiyo, this is bad, i have not been blogging much lately...

K, my week is pretty ok i guess.. nth really special...

Monday went to the USEIC to view at some American Universities. yea met the director and had a chat with her too..

the following days were nothing much though. just going back to Hai Sing in prep of NBC...

So tml is NBC for Hai Sing... all the best guys! nothing more i will advise or stress on... coz its really up to at this point.

Good news about NYPWO.. got 1st place in the International Youth Music Competition in Vienna... Darn i wish i was there lahz...if i had know i was onli going to armyend on july, i would have joined u guys.. hmmz.... Well done anyways!

Sunday will be the rest of Mrs Chua's sch bands for NBC- Fairfield Methodist, Anglican High & crescent Girls'.
And finally Mus'art for IBC on the following week....

Well guys, i'll be out of the country from this sunday... so dont know if u will notice also... haha.. but those who do, dont worri, i am just on holiday with my sis before i enlist to army... yup!

ok, its about time, going to meet someone tonight.. haha.. seeya!!

goodbye world?

2008-07-06T23:28:00.002+08:00

Hey all..

wow i dint blog for 1 week...

haha...

Well.. the last 1 week.. at this point now, i honestly cant rememeber what i have been doing... sad to say too.. haha..

Oh... I almost dint make it on friday night...

er..yes... dint make it means i almost Di*d

i am serious...THe day was alright on friday... Went out with my mum to buy my army stuff and then spend the afternoon at Ikea.
when we reached home, i had a sudden headache. I know the pain was coming from my nasel area..it hurt my nose

Had leaders meeting that night and it just got worse... i could feel this upper muscle in my nose inflamed and seemed like it was going to burst...

and i got home and forced myself to sleep.. i could just feel the bad pain and thought i was going to say goodbye to the world..

argh... i know life is depressing sometimes but i'm not ready to go...

sick of things here...

2008-06-29T21:48:00.003+08:00

Hey all

As when i thought things were going better...sighs... i thought only...

It just showed that everyone was just putting up a faced front. The moment when u 'decided to change' was out of impulse... everyone was just fake..

Fake fake fake!

I know u wanted to change... but what is the point when you dont try to help urself after that moment of 'decision'...

U just end up wasting ur energy putting up a front of being good and of coz end up being looked at as a hypocrite.

I am just sick and tired of all these happening again... I just think we will all never work out ever.. All i get is hearing the same thing over and over again... i'm just irritated by repeated stuff when i already know them... u just think i am dumb eh...

All the big talk abt knowing everything and not being the example of what u preach... its just sad that u dont live the life of the values u carry... Chim rite? contradicts too.. but its true...

at times like these, i am honestly happy and await to go into army..Maybe it would be better for me too.. I have been hanging around here too long not doing anything and having to live through all these things... a good 7 weeks (except some weekends) away from such trouble.. being on my own to look after only...

I just feel kinda lost sometimes... how can i be a testimony when my life is like that?

Ergh.. i think i'll just stop here.. sorri if its just a halfway post...I have losts of things inside now and a bit hard to pracess everything out.. u can ask me personally...if anyone cares of coz...or if anyone reads my blog for the matter...

give it all u have

2008-06-27T01:54:00.002+08:00

Hey all

Today met up with Esther in the morning for breakfast .. in the end we settled for Subway at cinelesiure... haha.. shared a foot long sandwich with a large coke... k, so she met her bf and i was on my own...

decided to go to city hall...walked to Esplanade first.. thought can have some quiet time to myself.. but of coz i got distracted by the music books.. haha... and yes i borrowed 2 from there.. one really thick book and one local one.. haha..

k, so walked to marina square and suntec in the hunt for my berms.. but to no avail again... oh wells... nvm...

Went down to Hai sing band...Its a new sem for everyone.. but everyone's already tired.. i guess thats normal.. last min homework, rushed projects, and most have refresher tests to sit for. not to mention study for them first... and so, the band's performance is affected too... well its not bad... i guess its just the tired bodies acting on the energy to play with everything they have? Well,band practice seemed a little agitated throughout... many were kinda stressed over parts...
Maybe just the wrong day to experience such a thing i guess? but well at least it surfaced out many hidden parts which were not worked put properly too...

To HSCband[if u're reading this]: u guys can do it... its a matter of putting the right focus on the right things at the right time. Distraction and the feeling of tiredness are hurdles which can be broken. If u are feeling tired, just push urself more, i guarentee u can do it.. then go home and rest that tired self after...give it all u got yea!?

big buy

2008-06-25T19:48:00.004+08:00

Hey all..

Yes went to the Zoo with my family.... i havent gotten the pictures from my sis phone yet... soon... was fun.. haha... my sis and i bought t shirts at the zoo shop... similar but diff colour...

Today went with my mum to the John Little Expo Sale.. haha.. was looking for beige and black berm shorts....but dun have.. or ugly.. sighs...

but i did my shopping anyways.. haha...

"Vua-LA!"

1 Dunlop collared sports T, 2 valentino Ts, 2 Gioven kelvin Ts, 1 Gioven Kelvin jeans.... cool eh! haha....

ok.. satisfied with my buy today...onli i still havent gotten my 2 shorts! argh!

Ah Beng Jon

2008-06-23T21:47:00.004+08:00

Hey all

last few days nth much though... usual weekend...

Today.. went for a haircut... i know i know... y cut my hair when i'm going to army and going to get it cut anyways rite? well my fringe was super super long, it made my hair messy and flat... so i had to do something...

well i think i over did my norm... haha.. not that bad though..

this...

There is more to that... i tried doing a double line cut,

k, it dint come out as what i expected though.. wanted a straight line... and when the my hairdresser cut it, it was curved! argh! nvm.. so i asked her to do a cover up of a smaller like abv.. well it looked better but the thinner line was not as thin either... sianz...

so this is what it looks like.. well it beats colouring my hair purple or yellow or blue like how ppl suggested... lol...

lucky it doesnt last very long either...

Oh,, my brown hair has mostly been cut off le.. sigh...nvm.. black is still healthy looking...

Tml, parents taking a day off and we r going to the zoo.. haha... yup we ar FOZ..friends of the Zoo... but havent gone for a super long time..and also it wont be crowded tml.. yea!.. haha..

Nice day out

2008-06-20T20:37:00.002+08:00

Hey all

Last 3 days nothing much...

Wednesday i went out with my Army cell

Met with Wei Ming, Joey, Ren Hao, and Jensen...

Bowling at Ehub... 3 games is more than enough for me Manz! Became kinda sleepy after that.. haha

then We had lunch at Mr Chicken Rice... Watched "Get Smart" after that... Yawns... haha... i we almost falling asleep there haha

Thursday, Went for Hai Sing Band Prac... then lunch with Ee Hern and Wingsum

K, today, met with Aunty Gurly and uncle Joe.. Brought them out b4 i miss the chance b4 they leave for the US on sunday.. yupz..
went to china town, and city hall... nice day out altogether...

k, going out with my mum and sis to NUS for Drinks at a private club there tonight....