Hi all

yet another update... well lots of ranting in this post again... but seems like that is what i usually do in blog rite.. sad but true...

well october has finally passed and its already the 10th!...time flies really.. but somethings just dont pass as fast i want to.

Well summerize things for u so its easier to read, somethings just not really meant to be in detail here...

k,finally up rank le.. means i should get like 20bucks more? 'wohoo?... -.-" '

so somethings have been happening.. seems like i have to be a lot more vocal lately.. not a really good thing also.. i'm usually less noisy unless i'm entertaining.. but i have seen myself complaining a lot.. i usually can take it and just keep things within myself.. but i'm just getting fustrated with how things are around me.. WHY!!!

One thing after another. really. its no joke..

Update... I have not had much rest since... eh... my birthday!? thats like first week of may... u know why?... coz thats when my weekends burn for NDP... and then.. after NDP, my dad had a stroke.. so daily visits after work and stuff.. just when he came back, barely 2 weeks, he had another stroke... its never ending!

and i feel so trapped with everything that is happening.. i dont even have the freedom to do something at my own atonomy!

k, so lately i have been busy preparing for the hai sing 50th anniversary gala performance... how i wish i could just go there and conduct.. teach the music.. but no, i end up doing everything else.. gosh...coz no one wants to take the responsibility of the alumni and even the main band anymore... its kinda sad, coz i see lots of demands from the members, things they want to see happening, but no one offered a hand in it.. onli having to be asked for help. there again, this is not the first, and not the 2nd alumni involved performance where i am doing this alone.. and it is definitely tiring... WHY CANT PPL HELP!!!
and of coz getting the nagging from the school teachers for things...

I've kinda had it le... i think i just need to let this go and focus on teaching music and teaching band... i really cant handle taking on the role of a conductor and run the band with a 1 man committee.. i am killing myself... so lets see who is 'responsible' enough to even try...

k, i cant wait for my holiday which is the few hours after the gala perf... 5 days in hong kong with my besti Dickson... it'll be a good breather for me.. i seriously need a break...

k la.. myeyes are shutting coz i had a long day on duty yest and today a parade... seeya soon!...

Hey all

I'm back..

This last month has been a pretty tiring month. Physicially and Emotionally... its been tough, squeezing off every ounce of energy i have...

the last month or so, have not been feeling all that well. been in and out of fever, headaches, colds, soarthroats, and just fatigue..and i know it wont go away anytime soon...sighz...

Have been doing really tiring parades under the sun, really tanned now...i hope things will slow down soon...

Dad is finally home from the hospital after 2 1/2 months... quite a number of adjustments to be made at home. i am just not ready for another 'commitment' at home. to have to pick up after him. well most of the things are done by my maid, but the pressure is still at our shoulders.

My sis is also not really contributing much to ease anything.Just really pissed with her all the time. her attitude and character is just worse than mood swings.. more like a psycopath... I try not to bother.. but she is just making things so difficult. Is it always so easy to blame ppl, where u dont realise u are the cause of most of the problems! If i could say it, i'll tell u 'fuck care, and leave, u always think no one cares for u, then leave, thats what u prefer too, since u always complain abt the family' If u ever read this KIM, FUCK U! i had it with u. u dont realise how much mummy and daddy especially does for u. the amount of time, energy and money spent on u. They even spent so much money to put u to a university and u wasted it by not completing. u said u wanted to do it, but u countered back and said u were forced. u freaking dint even complete u O levels and u want to fight back and think u are smarter? please, u need wake up call, period.
U can carry on saying to everyone the things u say abt me, how u publicise abt me. But it seems that that is the onli thing u can say rite? coz u have nothing credible to fight on. U may be phsycally stronger and fight, u can shout as loud at anyone, but u can never outwin those who have brains and can think for themselves. u will eventually loose and u will be outcasted. u will never win, coz nth u seem to do makes sense. I really wonder why u need so much attention? u have enough, there is nth more anyone can give u, coz nth u ask for will come, since u never appreciate things, and u expect everything to just work for u. Reality check. this is no fairy tale. So wake up asshole!

My personal life is not all that awesome also, but i have come to that point where i know i cant get what i want, not most of the time. Its really fine, coz i know that life is always unfair, just a matter of how bad it can be. Well for me, i think, its a more like i am meant to run this life much less than on my own.

Well, on a lighter side, i'm planning a trip to Hong kong with Dickson in Nov.. it should be fun bah. i seriously need a break from everything. like a real break, some space to breath and really settle my mind to things...

K, so my biggest project now is the HSC 50th anniversary gala dinner perf. lots to do, organise and plan. and i really hope it'll be a good perf.

Oh, some pictures of the chamber concert i did last mth..



yea, well, finally to all that has been happening, this is the most dear to my heart lately.. "F", u know who u are, if u ever read my blog that is. I know its been really hard for u. i understand.. and i am still here for u, as i said before, i'll wait for u right here, i'm always a buzz away.
But through it all, for the past 3 weeks or so, i get this feeling i am no longer part of that fond feeling anymore. More like a memory waiting to fade away, and u just need to keep away. and its ok. i understand. I've been on my own for a long time.and i know i dont deserve u either. I treasure the time we had, and it was something i knew was great, and i really enjoyed myself with u. somethings i have never felt before. As cliche as it sounds, there is some truth in the experience. I'm not here letting u go, but just telling u that it is fine that i'm not the one u desire.
U know i will never lie to u, and i rather be honest abt my feelings too. And its not been the easiest of weeks for me too, but i respect how u feel, and really dont want u to worry abt me, u have ur weight of burden, i'm sorri i sound selfish. i hope this doesnt weigh anything lesser than what we may have had and things will be good. (ok, i know everything sounds so vague, so ask me if i'm bluring the intentions of the msg k). For what its worth, i'll still be here for u, and i'll still be waiting for that buzz yea.

If only you knew how much i miss you.

The cry within my heart even in a facade of silence.

I know i'm no better than anyone else, much less in the reality of things.

But you know i'll always be here, waiting for you.

When you are ready,

I am here...

[Joni]

Hey all

Its been almost a month since i last blogged...

well.. some updates...

k, so my paternal grandfather passed away last sunday...I was at the wake everyday till the funeral on thursday... Kinda tired and stuff also.. with all the Bhuddist prayers and stuff... I'm the DaSao..

Had my Chamber Concert on that same thursday as well...

k, so Unlce shuboh and the whole family is in town since sunday... So i'll be going out with them later...

Some of my weekend parties too...lots of bdays, especially 21st s!!!!!


Ishita(bday girl) & I


Birthday Boy XinKai & I


With Trevel


haha.. i am amazingly red here.. i think i started a bit to earli, if u know what i mean...


Felix & I ... =]



so later going out shopping first and then a stay over at XinKai's for his birthday Party!... wah! i so need sleep!!! haha...

Hey all

OMG!!its so long since i updated..

haha..

ok, so some updates since..

Dad is still in the hospital. as of today it will be 23 days in hospital le.. little progress though..

Ohh yes, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DICKSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so, have been busy with stuff at work as usual, Army Open house is this thursday to monday.. cant wait for that to end! haha
So i am not selected for the Nan Chang China trip... kinda upset abt it, and how we were selected for it though.

So the week after WJ birthday, hmmz... well, i kinda got wasted again..oppz... i dint get drunk, just high.. see this is what happened on that sat..

I met clement in the taxi, he had some booze in a bottle and we started drinking that, imagine in the taxi.. haha..then we went to tantric, where we met James and Tonky.. They bought singapore sling and some other strong drink..that was kinda enough for me also... BUT!, then Wei Jie and XinKai came down to meet me, they came to buy me drinks... omg!!!

i agreed. they got one Blue splint(stong, and something i dont really like) and WHite Chocolate Martini,i LIKE!!!
and then they went crazy with 3 more BLUE SPLINTS!!! ARGH!!!!!

k, so sunday went to the Sentosa. With WeiJie,Xin kai, DenDen,Alvin and Rufus(the dog)
it kinda rained and spoilt the day out.. so we headed back to xinkai's to wash up. Headed to bugis in the evening to have steamboat, Imran and Trevel joined us too

...

so last weekend, kinda a disappointment over my meetings and outings and planz... everything got changed! sighs...

k,, so some pics from sat...

Henry & I


Esther & I


Felix & I


Me,Henry,Esther,Desmond



so i guess thats it since then...nth really much...haha

Hey all

Finally NDP is over! wohoo!!!!
Really happy its over.. Now i can focus on my other things too! haha

Ok, so this weekend, celebrated my bud, Wei Jie's Bday...

some pics below yea... =]

On Sat, went to meet Benji first in the afternoon..someone was late!! haha..walked around first.. i finally bought my suspenders! haha

Finally in the evening, we had dinner first.. at HK cafe..

TianShun & I


Benji & I


Buddy Wei Jie (Bday Boy) & I -- all dressed up


Group Pic!




Then it was time to PARTY!!!

Daniel, Eugene, Me


Me, Esther, Charlie


Benji & I


Joshua & I


The big heavy cake which i had to carry from paragon!


Benji,Robin,Clement&I-WATERFALL!...


Blaise & I


Bryan & I


Bday boy & I


Steve & I


Clement & I- Argh i am being squeezed by chicken little!


Going crazy lah..


Phillip & I


Ming Hong & I


Eli & I


Calvin,Me,Joel,Ruby


My really best pal Benji...


Botak boy & I


Dear Ruby & I


Me,Robin,Yang




HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY!...




k, so sunday was the actual bday day... i brought Wei Jie and Xinkai to swiss o'tel merchant court for high tea.. then we went to watch dvd at cine... and of coz the temptation to club.. and thats what we did.. lolz... but we stayed out till 2.30 onli.. all kinda tired and stuff also..


well it was one stressed and eventful weekend.. i hope u enjoyed urself wei Jie...
Woah i realised 1 whole blog post dedicated to u lehs.. haha

Hey all

Its a few days away to NDP! yay! and its finally gonna be over! cant wait for that to happen!!

i owe everyone a lot of photo updates! so here goes.. haha..


on 25th July

WeiJie,me,XinKai


Me,Yang,Dennis,XinKai,Steven,Esther,WeiJie


Group Photo!


Buddy Wei Jie and I


(clockwise)Me,Henry,Joel,Esther,Wing,Thomas



On 2nd Aug!

AhBoy,Me,Shah,Phillip,Joel,Calvin


Group Pic.. Shah looks funny!


(clockwise) WeiJie,Joel,Calvin,Joshua,XinKai,Dennis,Esther,Me


=]



Those were some pretty fun Evenings!!

So yesterday i had a halfday, met with WeiJie and Xinkai first for a super late lunch.. Later met with Josh and Esther, Went to watch "the Hangover' at cine..was a good laugh.. haha...

went for supper at meridian foodcourt and then hanged out at starbucks and outside PS after...

XinKai & me


Blaise,WeiJie,Me,Joshua,XinKai


=]


Buddy & Me


Group Pic! Blaise,Xinkai,WeiJie,Esther,Joshua,Me



yupz... cant wait for NDP to end as i mentioned... the week after is my Bud, wei Jie's bday.. hmmz.. lots to plann.. haha...going to dinner and club that evening..i hope i dont go wacked and drunk!..
will update more soon =]